The Pregnancy, Birth & Early Life of Dexter...

A scrapbook with pictures of Dexy! Enjoy!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:09:00 +0000

A quick update for now about our Osteopath visit...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:56:00 +0000

Yes, yes - the slackness has returned and I've not updated here in a while!

I have lots to tell and to share including pictures. Like Dex giving us his first real smile on 25/3, as a day-early birthday pressie for Mummy! :) And now he's even giggling which is so cute...

He is also FIVE WEEKS OLD now - my gosh, it's crazy to think that! Well they say the first 6 weeks are the hardest and we're almost there :) I can't honestly say it's been too bad - I mean, how many other mothers only have to get up ONCE during the night (between 10pm and 6am) to feed at this age? But we have had our issues, and while Dex sleeps beautifully at night and settles RIGHT away after his feed, we won't do so during the day. He has problems with wind, and I suspect he may also have silent reflux. We'll be seeing my GP next week for our six-week check-up and I'll be mentioning all this at that time.

But anyway - I will post more here in the coming days (or even later today) but I just have NOT had much time lately. Sorry about that!

Today however, I am going to cut and paste in here a message I just put up on the message board I chat on over at Babycentre.com.au. I think it's pretty interesting and maybe someone will google "Osteopathy for babies" and find this to help them with their own newborn. Honestly someone needs to print an instruction manual for these little creatures and then we won't have to go through so much uncertainty and trial/error learning!!!

So anyhow - here is the story of Dexter's first visit to the Osteopath...

Hi everyone!

Well Dex had his first visit to the Osteo yesterday afternoon. I had decided to try Osteo to help his wind issues, which seem to be the main reason I have trouble settling him to sleep during the day. As you may remember he was taking an hour or more to settle at times, then only catnapping (less than an hour sleeps) during the day. I had started giving him Infacol (for the wind) which seems to help, but we still have our good and bad days. A good day will see him have at least one 2-4 hour sleep during the day - a bad one will see him have no more than 15 minutes maybe 3 or 4 times and be awake and upset (overtired probably...) a lot of time. He doesn't actually cry that much unless he has bad lower wind pain (when he SCREAMS!) but if he's awake he wants to be held upright which means I get NOTHING done.

So anyhow I had read on this forum and others (the Huggies site forum is GREAT for advice on this...) that going to a Chiro or Osteo could help. I decided on Osteo because I feel it is gentler, and my brother recommended a practitioner to me who is hugely respected here on the Gold Coast and has been practicing (and specialising on children) for 20 years.

So I went along yesterday afternoon. Dex had not slept much all day and was quite cranky, but fell asleep in the car. He woke up after we arrived and was cranky, wanting to be held. I'd fed him about 90 minutes previously.

Well the Osteopath asked me LOTS of questions about my pregnancy, Dexter's birth, and how he is eating/sleeping etc. It was quite an extensive 'interview'. While asking me these questions he was walking around his office holding Dexter, face out, against his chest with one hand around his chest and the other under his bum. Dex was so calm during this - and the Osteo later told me he was 'releasing' Dexter's diaphragm and loosening up his tummy by moving his legs in a certain way.

After this he lay Dex down on a massage table and then sat behind Dex's head with his feet away from him. While on the table Dex started screaming and did two LOUD farts. Seems that some of that wind had loosened. The Osteopath felt Dex's belly and said that it felt VERY tight and a bit bloated which he thought was surprising because by this time he'd had his last feed 2 hours previous, had done several farts AND a big poo just a little while earlier. He did some work on this area to loosen it up as well.

Then he said "I'll just wash my hands so I can feel his palate", went off then came back and stuck his pinky finger in Dex's mouth. He was feeling around a bit, didn't say much - but then he said "Ok now I'm going to work on his neck". This is where he started using the Cranial Osteopathy technique.

He left his finger in Dex's mouth (which Dex LOVED, he sucked like mad which he never does for me...) and put his other hand at the base of his neck. It didn't LOOK like he was moving his hands at all, but he was obviously applying some pressure because a few times Dex stopped sucking the finger and starting crying very loudly, obviously in pain/discomfort - but this stopped after a few seconds.

This went on for a while and then the Osteopath said "He's very tight at the base of the head. Sometimes I can do this manipulation and get a release in 30 seconds - but as you can see we're coming up to 10 minutes and I'm still trying. It's released a bit, but I want to keep working".
He kept trying for about 5 more minutes and then said he was going to leave it there for today. He'd made an improvement but he wants to see Dex again in a few days. He's booked out for weeks, but he made a special allowance because Dex obviously needs the work, so he's going to stay back one day next week to see us again.

I went to pay for the appointment after this and surprisingly it only cost me $24 after my health fund rebate! Bargain!

I noticed that Dex seemed quite calm after this - I put him in his baby capsule while I paid the account and he was quiet, which is quite unusual for him as he generally dislikes the capsule until the car's actually moving.

I went from there to my Mum's house (about 5 minutes away) and went in for a visit. He needed to be changed and was really good, then got a bit grumpy because it was time for a feed. I fed him and then stayed for another 90 minutes visiting and during that whole time he was just so calm - wide awake, relaxed, taking everything in. He hadn't slept all day but wasn't cranky at all. I wondered whether it was to do with the Osteo - even mum mentioned that he seemed relaxed.

Got him home, and he was asleep in the capsule so I brought him inside just as Dave got home at 6:30pm. He slept for a while then woke hungry, so I fed him till about 7:30pm. Usually at this point we'll put him to bed for the night with our usual routine, but it could be an hour or two - or sometimes more! - before he'll actually fall asleep and STAY asleep for the night. This is so hard on us because we're trying to tag-team our evening meal, I tend to end up cooking quick/easy meals rather than the nice things I used to make us, and we don't get to relax and watch a movie or anything because Dex will keep waking up (every 5-15 minutes during that 1-2 hour period) and we'll have to re-settle him.

Well... last night after feeding I put him down as usual and as usual he fussed and cried a lot. I gave him his dummy (we only use it for night sleeps, it seems to settle the upper wind for him...) and then I did something I hadn't done before ---- I rhythmically rubbed his belly where the Osteo had said he was very bloated and tight. IMMEDIATELY Dex rolled his head to the side and closed his eyes. I kept rubbing for a few minutes - he was asleep!

I quietly left his room, thinking this was a lucky fluke. He DID wake up about 15 minutes later but with obvious lower wind pain - so I did the same thing again, which caused a big fart to come out, and then kept rubbing while he once again rolled his head and fell asleep immediately.
He woke again at 1:15am!!! Then went to sleep a half hour later after his feed, and woke as we did at 6:30am!!!

Now those sleeping periods are pretty normal for him as he DOES sleep well at night, but the settling to sleep thing was just SO different for us. We almost didn't know what to do with ourselves from 8pm with a quiet sleeping baby in the house! I actually felt quite relaxed and realised how TENSE I am normally because I never know if Dex will sleep, or for how long...
Anyhow this morning I fed Dex at 6:30am for about 45 minutes (he is always ravenous in the morning!) then he was really happy to lay in the rocker by himself while I pottered around and had brekky, did chores, got dressed etc.

About 9am he was showing tired signs, I tried to put him down to sleep but he was crying for food (his food cry is very different from every other cry) so even though it was only 2 hours since his last feed, I gave him another one (he's been doing this occasionally of late, maybe a growth spurt?). So after that I burped him, changed nappy and put him down for a sleep. He was laying there, awake but calm for about 20 minutes (he often does that) before he started crying with wind pain. I burped him again, then lay him down and did the tummy rubbing thing again - firstly both thumbs rubbing up/down while my hands sort of loosely hold his sides. Then one thumb rubbing around and around for a bit.

And wouldn't you know it - the same thing happens - he gets into his 'sleeping position' and promptly dozes off. Now - I KNOW we aren't supposed to pat/rock/rub them to sleep but when you're a desperate woman you try it all! And I HAVE tried it all - and although he'll sometimes get patted or rocked to sleep, he never STAYS asleep for very long afterwards.

But this time - well here we are over an hour & a half later and he's still asleep! He woke up once after about 10 minutes with more wind pain, so I did the same thing and we went back off and hasn't woken again. I only do the rubbing for maybe two minutes before he crashes. I don't want to get too excited but it's really like a miracle at this point!

I truly believe that it's not comfort that he's getting from it, it's relief from his pain. I've noticed before that on the occasions where he is in no pain he'll very very happily self- settle and roll over to sleep alone without needing me there. He's not a clingy baby at all - he can be in the rocker in the living room for ages without me having to be there with him, but ONLY when he's not hungry or in pain. Those are really the only 2 reasons he cries most of the time, and the pain has been something I just haven't been able to help him with.

But now I truly believe that the Osteo treatment has loosened things up so now I CAN rub his belly and give him relief, and possibly there is also less wind so this all works more quickly. But I'm really amazed at how things are working right now and I can't wait to update with progress as the days go on, especially after the next appointment.

Honestly - if this keeps up I won't know myself! If I can have a baby that will go to sleep within 15-30 minutes after I put him down for a sleep - well, that will be like MAGIC to me!
Sorry for the long post but I really wanted to detail this so that other ladies may find it helpful down the track to know exactly what to expect and how this can help their own bubbas.

OH my goodness! He's two weeks old!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:37:00 +0000

Well yesterday marked Dex's two week birthday - unbelievable! It's so strange - when I'm awake in the middle of the night AGAIN, it seems like these difficult sleepless days will never end. But then he turns TWO WEEKS OLD and I realise that I'm already a third of the way through the first six weeks, which are the most difficult, and that the days really are going by so quickly. And then I kick myself, because I shouldn't be wishing away the days till he gets older and sleeps more and is not as demanding. I should be cherishing every moment with my baby because he really is growing and developing SO quickly. I will never get these days back, and I need to be mindful of that.

So I keep taking pictures but not enough. I need to take more videos, to capture all these early moments. How hard is it, really, to grab the digital camera which is kept charged and at hand, and record some of these precious moments? I have to do it more often, I really do. And how awful is it, that at two weeks of age we only two pictures of Dex with either Dave or myself, and NONE of us as a family!

Hopefully my brother Andrew, a budding amateur photography with a great digital SLR camera, will be coming over next week to do a 'photo shoot'. I'll have to make sure Dave is here so we can get some nice family shots.

But other than that, Dex is doing great. He's still fussy in the late afternoon/early evening but even that is slowly getting better, with last night being the best night in the past week since he started that behaviour. His face is really filling out now, he's getting those gorgeous chubby baby cheeks and a little round tummy (like his Daddy who partook a little two much on his holidays and needs to get back to gym! LOL!) and he is just so adorable (see pictures). His face is far more expressive and at times I can see a smile starting although he's not quite getting there yet. I wonder how much longer till he can smile and giggle? It's so exciting to think of everything that is still to come...

I'm doing well too - I put on 12kg during pregnancy and I have only 5.5kg left to lose after two weeks. Breastfeeding is great! Keep it coming! I hope to lose the 12kg and then keep going and lose a few more, fingers crossed.

I feel good - I seem to be healing quickly post-pregnancy. I am only getting about 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night but I don't feel too poorly for it. Dave tends to sleep through when I'm up with Dex, but still he complains of lack of sleep every day. MEN! *sigh* He gets a good 7 or 8 hours with a couple of 5 minute interruptions when Dex cries (and I often get to him before he starts...) but still he complains. Thank God it's women who have the babies! Can you imagine if men had to deal with all of these challenges on a daily basis? I hate to think!

Well baby's first Easter is this weekend, although Dave will only have 3 days with us as he has to work on Easter Monday - which I think is HORRIBLE, but what can you do? But at least he has the following Wednesday, March 26, off from work which was a total accident. Why is that so great, you may ask? Well it's my 36th birthday! :) I'm hoping to get out of the house with the family and maybe have a picnic or a nice drive somewhere - anything to get out in the world for a while! I'm definitely getting a bit of cabin fever, and I get the 'baby blues' from time to time but it's short-lived and usually when I'm frustrated at Dex not going to sleep. I don't think people who have not been through this realise how hard it can be to not be able to just jump in the shower for 5 minutes when you want to. The challenges of motherhood!

Anyhow, Dex is bound to either get fussy or want a feed any moment so I should end this here, but I will update again shortly with the latest and greatest in the world of the Mitchells! Love to you all!

And so life goes on, but how different it is!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:14:00 +0000

So here we are, 9 days on from Dexter's birth and life is going on. Having a newborn in the house sure does change things in a million ways, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Gone are the days of 'popping down to pick up a few things at the shops' or 'I might just go wash my hair'... everything requires PLANNING, and ORGANISATION! Thank goodness I'm a pretty organised person anyway - but that's a double-edged sword because no amount of organisation or planning can prepare you for the turmoil of a newborn in the house. It's all about HIM! And so it should be!

Dex is doing wonderfully :) He's generally a happy, easy baby. He LOVES to eat and has gained 300 grams since his birth! MY GOD! He's SUCH a piglet!!! Thank goodness my milk came in on Day 2 and I have PLENTY of it. The booby Gods have visited, and Dave is a happy man!

But the downside is that Dex also just loves to suckle, so sometimes he uses me as a dummy rather than a food source. This was really causing us some issues when he was tired or cranky, because all he wanted to do was go on the breast and nothing else would comfort him. I gave in finally a couple of days ago after having him on the breast about 6 times in 2 hours, and I gave him a dummy to go to sleep at night. We had a couple of nights where he just would NOT sleep for about 5 hours, by which time he was really overtired and cranky. All he wanted to do in that time was suckle. No amount of holding, rocking, soothing or singing would settle him. He would suckle and fall asleep after a while - so I would put him in his bassinette, creep away - and five minutes later he was awake, crying and sucking his fist.

So - out came a dummy and gosh - I really hated having to do that! I actually cried and asked Dave "Am I being a bad mother?" But he is a sucky baby and it's either that or let him massacre my boobs for hours a day if I want him to get any sleep at all. Luckily though he rejects the dummy unless he's really sleepy - so I can take it out shortly after he goes to sleep and he's fine. And at least he lets me know when he's actually hungry - if he spits out the dummy repeatedly, he wants food so I give it to him. He's still feeding about every 2-3 hours so I know he's not going hungry, and we're happier because he actually got a fabulous sleep last night and only woke me up once between 10pm and 5:30am! I didn't mind getting up that early though, seeing as I ended up with about 6 1/2 hours sleep for a change, and Dave gets up at 6am for work anyway so it wasn't so bad.

I've mastered the knack of feeding Dex while lying down in bed too, so I don't wake up TOO much when I get up at night and I tend to snooze and let him have as much as he likes. It's much easier to get him back to sleep if he falls asleep during the night feeds.

But other than his suckiness, he's just an angel. When he's well rested he is happy to interact with us and is so alert and interested in everything going on. Our pets are all fascinated by him - well, except for Raz our Ragdoll cat. He spent the first couple of days ignoring Dex's existence, and since then he will give Dex a sniff or two before running away. I think it will take some time for him to get used to having a new creature in the house, especially as said creature seems to be taking away much of his attention. Raz was VERY cold toward me the first few days, but now I try to give him a couple of five minute cuddle sessions each day and he seems to like me again.

Anyhow - I should keep this short. Dex has been sleeping since about 7:30am so I guess I MAY have another hour or so before he wants a feed. I have managed to get a heap of little things done this morning so I feel a great sense of achievement. That's the thing these days - achieving the smallest thing like doing the washing up or putting on a load of washing, or, the BEST thing, actually having a DECENT shower! - really does bring a sense of accomplishment and pride :) It's a strange and beautiful new world :)

My birth story - FINALLY! :)

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 01:07:00 +0000

Well it's been a week and finally I have had the time to write up my birth story as Dave is back to work today (boohoo to that...) - so, here it is! I will update the blog with other details shortly but basically Dex is WONDERFUL, doing really well, putting on weight like nobody's business (he's a piglet!) and behaving beautifully. We love him to death! :)

Dexter David Mitchell's Birth Story

(Warning: VERY LONG!)

Dexter’s birth story really begins with his conception (a story in itself!) and then our journey to deciding on giving birth at home into water. However, I won’t go into those details here – much of that pre-story is detailed in my blog at www.onthecoast.com/baby where you can read it if you would like to…

So I will just start the story from Friday 29th February, the point at which we started to really worry that our home birth would not be able to happen. At this stage Dexter was two weeks late, and we had to make some difficult decisions about how to proceed.

Backtrack slightly by two weeks, and I was 40 weeks pregnant with no sign that Dex would arrive any time soon. My home birth midwife and I were slightly concerned that my belly & fundal height were so small and we thought it best, considering we thought I would be at LEAST a week overdue, that I go and get a biophysical profile/ultrasound done to ensure that Dex was growing and that my placenta was working well. I had that testing done on Friday February 15th, my due date, and all was wonderful. Dex scored 8 out of 8 on the profile and we felt happy to continue the pregnancy to at least the 42 week mark if required, and then make further decisions from that time.

I had a horrible two weeks from that point up to Feb 29th. I tried every natural induction method known to man – sex, orgasms, nipple stimulation, walking, spicy food, evening primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea, black/blue cohosh (yuck!!!), rocking on a fitball and then finally – as a last resort - castor oil. I was under pressure from friends and family about how far overdue Dex was and whether he was in good health. I worried that I wouldn’t go into labour spontaneously and that I would have to go to hospital – which of course was something we wanted to avoid at all costs. Add to that the pressure of Dave being TOLD by his work that he HAD to take his 2 weeks annual leave starting from Feb 22nd, instead of from when the baby was born. It was just a very stressful time and by the time I was 42 weeks pregnant I was both emotionally and physically drained.

We decided that we really needed to monitor the baby to make sure he was still fine at this point. The concern was not only for his health, but for the fact that if I DID end up having to go into the public hospital for an induction, and had not had any monitoring, I would be seen to have been irresponsible and may actually have a difficult time if anything went wrong. My home birth midwife works part time at the public hospital I intended to use for a transfer if necessary, so she pulled a few strings and spoke to a few sympathetic midwives who were supportive of home birth, and I went in to the hospital on the Friday night to have a CTG and check on the baby.

We turned up at the hospital at 6:30pm as my midwife was finishing her shift, so that she and the lovely head midwife could look after us without any of the Doctors getting involved. The thought was that doctors would probably push to book me for an induction, even possibly right then and there! But we hoped that the baby would be well and that we could then wait over the weekend to see if labour would start spontaneously.

The CTG and other monitoring showed that both Dex and I were in wonderful health, everything was fantastic and that we should have no problem waiting a couple more days. The head midwife offered to do a stretch and sweep with her ‘magic fingers’ and I agreed. We hoped that this, coupled with more of the natural induction methods I had been trying for two weeks, would help to bring on labour.

Then she spoke with the Doctor on duty (she had no choice) and although he wasn’t completely happy with the plan, he agreed that seeing as the baby was healthy, I could wait the weekend and come back in on Monday (if labour hadn’t started before then) for more monitoring. At that time he would suggest an induction to be performed that day, but would accept if I declined and would instead order another biophysical profile to ensure baby was absolutely fine. If he was, we would book an induction for the Wednesday. If not, we’d do it right away. I was happy with this plan, and felt that if baby wouldn’t come by himself by Wednesday – which was 5 days away – then I would accept that an induction was required and I would feel I had tried everything I could to have my home birth before giving in and going to hospital.

Dave and I left the hospital feeling a lot more positive than we’d been in weeks – we had a plan now, and a final end date that we would meet Dex, one way or the other. We stopped in at our favourite Mexican restaurant on the way home and had a lovely dinner, and were in good spirits.

At about 10pm that night, I started having pains. They were strong tightenings of my abdomen, different to what I had felt previously. We started timing them and found them coming every 10 minutes. I thought it may be the start of labour. The pain was uncomfortable but manageable. After a few hours the pains came every 5 minutes and were lasting up to a minute. From everything I’d read, I thought I may need to call my midwife. I did so at 2am, feeling terrible at waking her up, but wanting to be safe rather than sorry. I told her what I was experiencing and she said that she didn’t think it was truly labour, but possibly pre-labour, and that the pains were probably strong Braxton Hicks rather than true contractions. Not having anything to compare this to, I had no idea myself but in hindsight I realize she was correct. She suggested I get some rest, said that things could be starting but that these kinds of pains are often stirred up by a stretch and sweep, and that it could even last days before true labour began. Of course that wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I took her advice and went back to bed. The pains continued till about 3:30am when I finally fell asleep and when I woke 4 hours later they were gone. If I’d known at the time that those 4 hours sleep would be the last I’d have for 3 days, I might have gone back to bed and had some more!!!

We spent Saturday March 1st hanging out at home, and I continued to have some mild contractions throughout the day at unusual intervals. Nothing was regular, but there was definitely something going on. Dave and I just relaxed and watched a movie, hoping that labour could start in earnest at any time.

Around 5pm the pains started to become a bit more intense, and I noticed they were coming every 15 minutes. However I could still breathe through them, still talk through them, so I knew it wasn’t REAL labour.

But two hours later, at 7pm on March 1st, that all changed. I started having REAL contractions – still fairly mild, but I had to breathe through them and I couldn’t talk to Dave when they were at their peak. We timed them and found them to be 10 minutes apart. This continued all night long, right through to Sunday morning. I got no sleep at all, and Dave didn’t get much either. The contractions would vary in intensity and also in duration. At times they would be 5 or 6 minutes apart – sometimes much further apart. I searched the internet for some answers and determined I was probably in early labour, but that this could continue for some time.

I called my midwife to let her know what was going on. She agreed that it seemed promising and to let her know if they got more intense or closer together/lasting longer. She dropped by that afternoon to check out my progress. I was hoping I would be somewhat dilated, and looking as though labour was well underway.

Unfortunately, I was only 2cm dilated, and the cervix although soft and spongy and anterior, was still about 1/2cm thick and the baby’s head was high. My midwife sadly told me that she didn’t think I was going to have the baby any time soon, and that I should try to conserve my energy whenever possible. She checked out my contractions and agreed I was in labour, but still only in the early stages. She said that although the contractions were obviously quite strong, they weren’t doing enough to prepare my body and send me into active labour. We had to wait until they became harder and faster, and that could happen in hours or even in days!

The contractions continued all day Sunday March 2nd, and all through the night. I sent Dave to sleep in the spare room as I knew it would be a long night. The pain was very difficult to deal with, and so regular that I could only get a minute or two of a catnap between each one. By the time I got up the next morning, I had been in early labour over 36 hours and I was dead tired. I felt emotionally and physically drained, and I started to worry that when labour DID kick in properly that I wouldn’t have the energy or the mental strength to deal with it. I started to doubt myself. In hindsight, I realize that these feelings are completely normal and it was probably a sign that things were going to start gearing up but at the time I really felt like a failure.

I called my midwife that morning and spoke to her about it. She suggested that she would come by again and check me out, that maybe I had progressed if I had been labouring all night. She arrived around 9am on Monday morning, March 3rd, and after doing an examination we found that nothing had progressed. NOTHING! I was mortified – I had prepared myself to only have had marginal progress, but NONE? And after a night of no sleep and very painful contractions every 10 minutes? I felt very depressed and worried that my body was failing me.

My midwife asked me what I wanted to do. I was already in labour, so we were no longer going to have the baby monitored at the hospital like we had originally planned. So I could (a) wait and see what happened, (b) I could go to hospital to be induced or (C) we could try to kick start this labour. I asked her what she meant by that. She said we could try EVERYTHING we could to bring the contractions on harder and faster – that it would be painful and challenging – but it might make my body go into active labour. I agreed we should try this before resorting to going to hospital.

So between 9am and 4pm I rocked on my fitball, did nipple stimulation, and induced some incredibly intense contractions. I was in an awful lot of pain, made harder because I was bringing it on myself. I would be consciously working on bringing on a strong contraction, knowing how much it was going to hurt, and trying to make it as strong as possible. All the while I was physically exhausted – during the contractions I was leaning over the back of my lounge, moaning and breathing and wailing. After each contraction I would lean back and try to have a small rest before starting over again. Dave would feed me water and Gatorade, but I couldn’t eat and hadn’t done so since dinner the night before. I threw up with the pain on several occasions and was getting dehydrated, even with the fluids I was trying to have between each contraction.

But the contractions never really picked up of their own accord or found any ongoing pattern. At times they would be 5 minutes apart and lasting a full minute each, sometimes I’d have contractions one on top of the other. At other times they dropped off to 10 minutes apart and weren’t too bad at all.

After 7 hours of this, my midwife checked me again and sadly told me that I was about 3cm, but the baby’s head was still quite high. She worried that he may be posterior, and therefore his head was not pressing down on my cervix enough to bring on the active labour we needed. I was absolutely exhausted and mentally I felt completely drained. We weighed up all our options, and very sadly I told Dave that I thought it was time to give up on our home birth dream and head to the hospital for an induction. It was very sad, and I cried. I felt like a failure but I knew that I was losing my faith in myself and my body, and needed some help to bring my baby into the world.

My midwife told me that she thought this was the right thing to do, that medical interventions are there for a reason, and that she thought that after 46 hours of spurious (non-progressing) labour, no sleep, no food, and dehydration I would probably require some pain relief to get through the intensity of an induced labour. She explained that they would probably break my waters first, and that this may bring on labour without needing drugs. But if they needed to use the drugs to bring it on, that it would come on very fast and hard with little warning, and if I didn’t have an epidural there was a good chance that I would not have the energy to go through with the labour, the baby could become distressed, and then the Doctors would push for a caesarian. This is something I most DEFINITELY did not want.

So I agreed that I would get an epidural before they induced me, so that I could get some sleep and try to avoid further interventions. By this stage all I wanted was to have my baby in my arms. I had been through two of the most difficult and stressful weeks of my life and I just did not have the energy to fight anymore. Once this decision was made and we had packed my bags into the car, I felt more at peace. It was now 5pm and I would meet my baby sometime the next day. My midwife thought it would probably be in the morning sometime. I was happy about that – the 4th March seemed like a good birthday for my baby. 4 is our lucky number, so maybe things would start going our way from now on.

I had a few contractions in the car on the way to the hospital which was HORRIBLE, and we finally got there at 5:30pm. We crossed the border and were now in NSW so it was 6:30pm daylight savings time, and the shifts were just about to change. We checked in, monitoring was started, and Dave and I were left in the birthing suite for a while by ourselves in the dim light and the beeping machines. We suddenly felt calmer and realized we had done the right thing by coming here. We let our families know what was happening – up till now we had held off saying anything while I was in early labour, but it was nice to be able to let my parents know that the baby was going to be here soon.

The midwives hooked me up to an IV with fluids, a CTG to monitor baby’s heartbeat and another monitor for my contractions – I was stuck on the bed and couldn’t move! The doctor on call turned up and checked me out. She said she would break my waters, then they would order the epidural, and then start the syntocinon drip to start labour. All that would take a few hours, and I should have my baby mid-morning the next day at the latest.

At this stage my contractions had dropped way back to about 20 minutes apart and weren’t too bad. Apparently this is very common when you arrive at hospital in labour. Adrenalin kicks in from the fear/anticipation you feel arriving at the hospital, and this slows down the labour process. So I was feeling much better at this stage, although incredibly tired. Dave took a few pictures of me at this point and you can see how exhausted I look.

The doctor came back to break my waters and when she went to do so she found that they had already broken! She asked me about it – and I thought back to the night before when I had been having contractions all night while Dave slept in the spare room. I had been going to the toilet after every 2nd or 3rd contraction to pee, but I thought at the time that I was peeing an awful lot considering I wasn’t really drinking that much water in between. I realized that my waters must have broken then. The doctor put me on some antibiotics seeing as we couldn’t be absolutely certain when I lost my waters, and told me that she would organize for the epidural to be done shortly.

About 9pm the anaesthetist came in and discussed the epidural with me and got me to sign off on getting it. He said he was waiting for his supervisor to arrive, and that he should be there soon. Well – as it turned out his supervisor didn’t come for another hour and in the meantime the following happened…

Suddenly, just after the anaesthetist left, there was a knock at the door and my parents walked in. They just wanted to give me a kiss and a cuddle – apparently Mum was beside herself with worry and just wanted to see me quickly. She got Dad to drive her all the way there for just a few minutes. That was really sweet.

But while they were there, all of a sudden I had the WORST contraction I’d ever felt up to that point – it went on and on and on, and then came again immediately! I had about 4 contractions in a row, about 2 minutes apart, all lasting about 90 seconds and they HURT. I was in agony, I threw up repeatedly and couldn’t talk or breathe. It hit me so suddenly and so unexpectedly that I was totally unprepared. My body had suddenly and violently gone into active labour SPONTANEOUSLY without any need for induction! The midwives thought later that maybe the fluids helped – that my dehydration had been stopping labour from starting in earnest. Who can tell – but all I know is that suddenly I was dealing with full-on labour and it was completely unexpected. Of course it had to happen while my parents were there! They were horrified and left quickly.

My midwife was there with me, as was Dave, and they were both trying to help me get through the contractions. But I had a really hard time dealing with them because I was lying on the bed and hooked up to machines, so all I could do to cope was to roll on my side and clench my fists. And that just didn’t help at all. At one point I asked to go to the toilet – and the contractions that I had sitting on the toilet were actually more manageable – but I wasn’t allowed to stay there because they couldn’t monitor the baby’s heartbeat while I was in there.

I went through this for an hour before they were able to administer the epidural. Compared to the contractions I was experiencing the epi was a walk in the park! They had to do it twice, but I don’t even remember that – Dave had to tell me later. However, they started with a very low dose of pain relief which did absolutely nothing to help, and it took yet another hour for them to come back and top it up. When they topped it up however, they had me on my side and the catheter in my back was in too deep, so it ended up completely numbing my left leg (the side I have osteoarthritis in my hip) and the left side of my abdomen, but hardly affected the right. So there I am, still feeling these intense contractions on one side only, and they started getting even more intense and I could feel this strong sensation around my bottom which felt really strange.

By this time it was 11:30pm, and finally the head midwife called the anaesthetist back and told him that it wasn’t good enough, that I was still feeling pain on my right side, and that he had to fix it up. He pulled the catheter out of my back by a few centimeters, topped up the epi again, and then finally I was pain-free. My home birth midwife had gone to have a sleep as she was due to have a shift the next morning at 7am, and after the epi the idea was that I’d have a few hours sleep while the induction progressed. It was expected to take quite a few hours to go from the 3cm dilated I was when I arrived at hospital to the 10cm I needed to be to start pushing. My hospital midwife, Pam, told me she’d let me sleep shortly but she just needed to check out a few things. She put in a catheter and did an internal and found that I was now 5cm, so all those spontaneous contractions had certainly helped me along. By this time it was 11:50pm.

So Pam was fussing around me, checking the monitors and looking with a confused expression on her face at the read-outs. She told me after a while that my ‘belly is funny’ and she can’t feel my contractions – apparently my abdomen just always feels firm, and so the monitor can’t pick up when I am contracting. This is a bit of a problem when you’ve had an effective epidural, as you can’t feel them yourself. She was also trying to palpate my tummy to feel them herself, but was having little luck. She called a couple of other midwives in to check, and they all were saying how unusual it was and how difficult my belly was to read.

This went on for a while, and I was dying for them to leave me alone so I could rest. Dave was lying on a pull out single sofa bed (that was really uncomfortable!) and he wanted a rest too, but he didn’t want to fall asleep while they were still fussing over me. He was so protective and sweet during the whole process, and wanted to monitor every little thing they were doing and asked them all kinds of questions to make sure we knew everything that was going on.

Then at about 12:50pm Pam comes in with two other midwives and they start fussing more. Apparently the baby’s heartbeat is dropping at times, and taking a while to come back up. If this were happening DURING a contraction then it is not quite so serious as it is normal for the rate to drop a bit when the contractions are squeezing the baby. But they suspected that it was happening AFTER the contractions, which wasn’t good. The problem was that because they couldn’t tell for sure when I was contracting, they couldn’t tell when his heartbeat was dropping. Pam didn’t want to call the Doctor unless it was really necessary so she was getting second and third opinions from the midwives. They were all pretty sure the heartbeat was dropping after contractions, which is a sign of fetal distress. They seemed a bit worried and Pam told me that she would probably have to call the Doctor and that if the baby was in distress there was a chance they’d want to get him out right away. She hadn’t yet started the syntocinon, so the induction hadn’t yet happened – and therefore the quickest way to get him out would be a c-section.

Just before all of this happened, Dave decided he was hungry so he headed out to the vending machine to get a snack and was gone about 10 minutes.

While he was gone one of the older, more experienced midwives said to Pam “When was the last time you checked her?”. Pam says, “About an hour ago when I put the catheter in, she was only 5cm, and I haven’t started the induction yet”. The older midwife says, “Well you know the other reason the heartbeat could be dropping after contractions…” and Pam raises her eyebrows and then looks at me and says she wants to do an internal. I get into position and they help raise my legs up (because I can’t feel them!) and she has a look to see how I am doing.

Next thing this HUGE smile comes across her face and she says “Tracey, your baby’s head is ready! You can push the baby out – you did it all by yourself without induction!”

OH MY GOD! I can’t believe it – it’s just on 1am and my baby is ready! Everyone starts fussing and all I can say is “Where’s Dave? Can we wait for Dave?”. Pam says “We won’t be ready for a few minutes but we can’t wait too long.”

Then she comes over to me and says quietly, “Tracey, we have to call the doctor because the baby’s heartbeat is dropping, but I think he’s ok and he just needs to get his head out. He might have been waiting there for a while and we didn’t know because we couldn’t see your contractions had picked up. I know you can’t feel anything, but I think you can push your baby out. When the Doctor gets here she will use the vacuum but you can do it ok? Will we try to push the baby out?”

Suddenly I have ALL the energy in the world and I tell her YES I will push out my baby. Dave walks in and sees the fussing around, the lights back on, my legs up in stirrups and frowns at me. I tell him “Look down there!” and Pam guides him down to see a fuzzy head just ready to start coming out. He calls my home birth midwife who is sleeping upstairs and a few minutes later she arrives just as Pam tells me to start pushing.

We don’t know when my contractions are coming but I tell them my instincts are telling me to push, so I try even though I may be pushing against the contractions. Pam tells me we have to get the baby out NOW because he is in distress, so I push with all my might just as the Doctor arrives and starts getting the vacuum ready. I don’t want that used on my son, so I am determined to push him out before she can suck him out!

So there I am, not being able to feel anything below my waist, but telling my body to push. I am gripping my legs, and pulling them hard and concentrating on the sensation of pushing. Next thing the baby is crowning and I pause and look down with a huge grin on my face as I see the top of his tiny head. Dave thought it was hilarious that I’ve got this little head poking out, blood everywhere, people fussing, monitors bellowing – and a huge grin on my face! He was able to record all of this too, so we have it on video, and it’s quite funny to watch!

As soon as the top of his head is out, his heartbeat regulates and sits solidly at 140bpm for the rest of the delivery. I like to think that after waiting for so long to come out, he finally decided he was ready and everything just went SO fast after that - nobody thought I would progress so fast, so he was probably waiting there to come out for a while and his heartbeat dropping was his way of letting us know that.

So now the doctor is just about to put the vacuum on Dexter’s head and Pam says to me quietly “Push if you can Tracey, push if you can…” and so I push just as she is putting the vacuum on and out pops his head. I am so elated! I am grinning and telling Dave to “move down the end so you can film him coming out!” It all seems so surreal. They’re waiting for a contraction, and I tell them I want to push anyway so they tell me to go ahead.

And next thing I know I have a crying, squirming, bloody little creature on my chest and I’m completely and totally in love. It’s 1:10am on 4/3/08, just 20 minutes after they first saw his head ready to come.

Everything I’ve been through the past few weeks, every stress, every bit of tiredness – it all evaporates the second I touch my little boy. Suddenly it doesn’t matter where or how he was born, only that he IS. Dave is standing beside me saying “Oh wow, oh my goodness, oh baby…” and kissing me on the forehead. All I can do is smile and talk to my son saying “Hello Dexter, hello baby, welcome to the world, Mummy loves you…” while he cries and cries.

Pam takes Dexter over to the heat lamps at that point, and cleans him up. Dave cuts the umbilical cord and films some more, while the doctor delivers the placenta. The placenta shows some signs of deterioration but it’s not too bad, so we know that it was still feeding Dex even though he was officially born 2 weeks and 4 days late. But Dex is so small for an overdue baby, and he still had vernix on him, so the midwives start wondering if maybe my dates were wrong. I don’t believe so, but anything is possible.

His stats at birth are:

DOB: 04/03/2008
Time: 1:10am (NSW DST)
Weight: 2880grams
Length: 48cm
Head Circ: 33cm

Once Dex is cleaned up they bring him to me and I get to cuddle him for about half an hour. His breathing is a little bit grunty, and they think he might have had a bit of fluid in his lungs, so they take him away to be under heat lamps and to get a bit of oxygen. Five minutes later he is fine, but because he was technically ‘in distress’ they want to monitor him for a while. Dave goes and spends time with him in the nursery while I have to wait for the epi to fade so I can get up and shower. I sent Dave home at this point (around 2am) so he could get some sleep, and I managed getting about 2 hours of sleep myself – the first in three days!

I ended up waiting in the birthing suite till 6:30am because my left leg got an extra dose of the epi, so it took quite a while to get the feeling back. I was helped into the shower at that stage, which was lovely, but then I found that although the Doctor had given me the all-clear and said I had no tears from the delivery, I did in fact have two small labial tears that required stitching. The Doctor came back and did that around 7am but I didn’t feel a thing because by this stage they had brought Dex back to me for his first feed, and I was completely distracted by my little man.

They took me into the ward and assigned me a bed, and I ate breakfast while gazing at Dex who was gazing back at me. He was so alert, and so calm! Dave came in a few hours later, the proud father, who couldn’t wait to hold his baby son and spend some more time with him. I cannot believe the change in Dave, and how smitten he is. He seems like a different person now that Dex is here, and all for the better!

Over the next few hours Dex had his paediatric checks, hearing check and I was shown how to breastfeed. Luckily Dex and I are naturals and we took to it immediately! The nurse asked when I wanted to go home and I said “right away!”. She got the all clear and we ended up being scheduled to leave after lunch, only 12 hours after Dex was born!

My home birth midwife, who was now on her shift, came in a few times to see us and we went over how everything had happened and agreed that we should have no regrets, that Dex was born the way he was meant to be born. She thought that because he was so small at birth, she may have had to resuscitate him if we’d had our home birth, and most certainly he would have need to be warmed up as soon as he was born. And the ferocity of my labour once it kicked in would have been manageable at home, but who knows how it may have panned out?

After a lot of thought and reflection, I’ve decided that I’m at peace with everything that happened. I can see now that my story on my blog and in the online buddy group I am part of seems to have inspired some other women to stay strong, trust their instincts and to do what they feel is right in their own pregnancies. I got so many lovely messages and emails when Dex was finally born that I see our story has touched many people, even as far away as Brazil! In that regard I think that maybe these challenges are sent to try those of us who have the ability to pass on the lessons to others and help them in their own journeys. But whatever the reason, now that I have my baby Dexter David here in my arms, nothing in the world can take away the joy and love that I feel for him every day. I’m just thankful he is here, and in the end his journey to being here is not as important as the journey that is ahead of all of us now that he’s arrived.

HE'S HERE! Please welcome... Dexter David Mitchell!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 06:49:00 +0000

Hello everyone!
I have only been home a couple of hours with my boy who was born only 16 hours ago - but I wanted to share the quick version of the details for all of you who were waiting for news :) I think it best I just share the details I gave to my birth buddy group a few minutes ago :)

Birth Date: 4/3/08 !!!
Time Of Birth: 1:10am
Gestation At Birth: 42w 4d
Sex Of Baby: Boy
Name: Dexter David
Birth Weight kg's: 2885kg (tiny boy!)
Birth Weight lbs: 6lb 6oz
Head Circumference: 33cm
Length: 48cm
Home Or Hospital: 46 hour labour at home; 7+hours in hospital
Type Of Delivery: Vaginal
Pain Relief: Epidural (after most of the work was done, mind you!)
Comments: We ended up transferring to hospital from our home birth & requesting induction and an epidural as spurious labour was going on nearly 2 days and I had NO energy and cervix still only 2cm dilated and baby only 2/5 engaged - but then all of a sudden spontaneous labour kicked in 2 hours after we got to hospital, and he was born after epidural, but before induction began. Back home after only a few hours in hospital (or 12 hours after he was born, didn't even stay the night as I didn't leave the birth suite till 7am for various reasons)

I will share the FULL story very soon - if he keeps sleeping the day away that is! :)

~* Tracey, Dave & Dexter *~

One final March 1st update...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 13:29:00 +0000

Here I am - it's 11:30pm on March 1st. And I've been having 30-40 second contractions, 10-15 minutes apart, since about 7pm. These are not the so-called contractions I had last night or the other morning - those were tame by comparison. These HURT... but I know, they still might not be LABOUR.

Yes I'm thinking of it now in ALL CAPS - it's elusive and hard to recognise. I hope it's what I'm experiencing right now, but of course - who can tell? My husband didn't really take all this seriously until I told him "OK, maybe this is another false alarm - but regardless, it REALLY hurts, we should time then and... if it's NOT real labour - it's a good practice right?"

He promptly threw his beer out and took me seriously. I hope by tomorrow we realise it was a good idea because this is the real thing.

But for now - I just don't know for sure... I guess I am second-guessing myself and being unsure because this is the third time I've experienced something that I thought might be the start of labour - and the other two times I was wrong.

Well - not really wrong. Because I know labour can stop and start. I think maybe what I was feeling on Friday morning was pre-labour, and last night was early labour which stalled... and then slowly picked up a number of hours later throughout the course of today... and may, hopefully, now be the real deal.

I don't know what to expect from here on in. I'm tempted to google 'labour what to expect' so I can find out - well frankly - what to expect! Yes I've read about this before - and been told by my midwife how it works --- but so far I haven't gone according to the rule book and it'd be nice to just have a bit of an idea of how this could all pan out...

OOOOO hang on another contraction......

So fingers crossed that this will just continue - and build - and I'll get to that point where Dave and I KNOW this is the real thing - we call the midwife, my Mum and my doula... and then we can hopefully feel like it's really happening. Right now we feel like we're in limbo-land - we're not going to bed, even though it's late because well... for one, I wouldn't be able to sleep. But also - we don't really know WHAT we should do! We're kind of waiting for some kind of sign ... that things really pick up or die off.

However I kind of think - we probably won't be getting much sleep tonight no matter how you look at it...

Quick update of last night's experience...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 02:33:00 +0000

So I posted on here last night about what has happened the last few days with everything, and how much more relaxed and happy we are about everything...

Well I am hoping that baby comes by the end of the weekend - contractions last night started at 10:15 and were like really bad period cramps across my whole lower abdomen and radiating around to my back, I mean 'breathe-through-it' bad (that's a contraction, right??) -- they came like clockwork every 20 minutes for 2 hours - then SUDDENLY went to every FIVE minutes for another hour. Rang my midwife, a bit frightened - but she was quite laid back, told me to have a shower and try to get some rest and see what happens. I had about another half hour of them and then I must have fallen asleep - woke up about 7:30am to a few more contractions - then back to sleep for a few hours. Nothing much since. I guess labour can stall like that, just hope it starts up again soon! :)

UPDATE: 7pm - had on/off contractions, nothing to take my breath away though, on/off from about midday or so. Started to become a bit regular about 5-ish but I didn't time or anything, just going with the flow. Just now however I've had what I would call a couple of "serious" ones - took my breath away - really intense - so I'm not sure what is happening.

Dave and I decided this afternoon that we would set up the birth pool --- so that's all done, it only has to be filled. I think seeing it there is making me feel like things COULD happen. Plus we chose what clothes/blankets etc we would want to use if he comes soon. Dave picked out a cute little white cap and a little onesie - although I think we might have to revisit that onesie as it's sleeveless and today - the first day of Autumn - has been quite cool and breezy. If he comes tonight, or early morning, that outfit will be a bit cold. Gosh - I'm already thinking like a Mum!

I guess we will keep you posted and please - wish us luck... Tracey & Dave

An update covering late Wednesday (the 27th) to tonight...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:47:00 +0000

Hello everyone who seems to be reading this! I am amazed at some of the responses I've received, from all over the world. Truly incredible!

Firstly THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your ongoing support and friendship, and your comments - it has made all the difference to what has been a terribly stressful and emotional few weeks...

Although I have been quite down, and wondering what to do about everything (so many things to decide!), I am feeling quite a bit better this evening for several reasons which I will explain...

Firstly - I decided yesterday that I just did NOT want to do anything but focus on my body and my baby, and try to bring this labour on myself using my own instincts and intuition. I know any induction, natural or otherwise, if kind of interfering with nature - but I'd prefer to do it myself than chemically in the hospital. That's just my choice.

So I started by cancelling my fourth acupuncture session as I simply felt it wasn't doing anything for me. I also told my midwife that I wouldn't need to see her today, that I felt fine and needed a day to myself. Then I read up on optimal foetel positioning, as I firmly believe I wasn't having more cervical progress as baby wasn't staying down engaged long enough. I learned a LOT, including ways to change which way the baby is positioned in utero - but a really enlightening bit of info is that babies like to face the placenta in utero - and as my placenta is anterior (at the front) the baby was moving at times into a posterior position which was raising his head out of my pelvis, stopping the cervical pressure, and delaying ripening of the cervix.

So I know now that if I sit/lie/stand in certain positions and avoid slouching etc, I can keep him more anterior and therefore exerting more cervical pressure. I did this all day yesterday and for all day today and he has barely moved from his optimal position, which is GREAT.

I also tried a routine yesterday of drinking a cup of RLT (raspberry leaf tea) with a dropper full of my blue/black cohosh potion every half hour for four hours - while taking EPO (evening primrose oil) orally and internally - I also walked a lot, outside and on my treadmill - rocked on my fitball, and swayed while I stood - and did plenty of nipple stimulation. Oh fun!

By last night when I went to bed (about midnight) I was feeling a bit 'odd' and had experienced some shooting pains and tightenings that felt quite different than before. Hard to explain but I just felt like something MAY have changed. I finally got to sleep around 1:30am after reading for a bit - I just wasn't very sleepy.

At 5am this morning I woke up with some very strong abdominal pain and cramping (I hesitate to call it contractions) - and for the next 2 hours it continued about every 15 minutes. I was convinced I was in early labour - especially when the one just before 7am was a DOOZY that radiated from my thighs, across my stomach, and finally rested in my lower back making it REALLY burn. After that one my whole body started trembling. I woke DH telling him I thought something might be starting - but then I only had two more very mild feelings and was able to fall back asleep at 7:30am till about 9am - and nothing more happened. I was pretty disappointed by this - throughout the day I had lots of BH and some mild cramps but nothing to get excited about.

I spoke to my midwife in the afternoon - she said if the feelings had continued it might have meant something but she didn't really think it was labour or even pre-labour. She sounded really skeptical. Grrr. Not what I wanted to hear.

To backtrack slightly and to cover late afternoon Wednesday - she had come by my house on Wednesday arvo (I don't think I had written about this previously) and during my check up she did an internal and another sweep but found I had gone BACKWARDS from the day before and baby was higher, cervix was less favourable and posterior - basically it was a big setback and she didn't think I was going to be in labour any time soon. The sweep hurt and she didn't feel like it would do much. I was back to the same status as the previous Monday when she predicted possibly another week till the birth at the rate I was going. That is part of the reason I got so down and decided to do my own thing yesterday and not see her or anyone at all.

But based on that lack of progress, we decided then that the plan of attack from that point on would be for me to go into the hospital (where she works, and where I would transfer if it were necessary) on Friday night (tonight) for a CTG to monitor the baby. She said a really lovely head nurse was on, who she trusted and who knew she did home births, and that she would let me come have the monitoring and then discuss my options for the following week. We tentatively decided that I MAY allow an induction on Monday but I definitely wanted to have the weekend to try and go naturally as long as baby was fine at the checkup.

So when I spoke to her again this arvo, I told her I'd still go in for the CTG (even tho I felt I may be in pre-labour) so off we went this evening not knowing what to expect or how much pressure we would get from the medically minded to induce this 2 week late baby. I had visions of being called irresponsible and being cautioned against harming my baby - and she confirmed it could well be the case. I knew I would have to be strong. I expected a fight that I didn't really feel up to, being so emotional and feeling quite fragile. I'm usually so strong.

So we turn up, and my midwife had just finished her shift - but she took us in and strapped me up to the monitor checking baby's heart beat and doing a print out. All my stats and details were taken to see whether the health of myself and baby was good enough to let this pregnancy last longer...

Well, the upshot is that both baby and I are super healthy, and baby is more than happy in there and doing wonderfully. The head midwife was an absolute gem - a British lady in her late thirties who, as it turned out, naturally birthed both her sons into water at home. She was very sympathetic to my situation, and we discussed my options, I felt she was more like a friend than anything and immediately trusted her.

I told her that what I would like to do is to have the weekend to allow my body to labour spontaneoulsy, then come in to monitor the baby again on Monday and get a biophysical profile done (to check the placenta is still feeding baby well etc) and then consider induction for maybe Wednesday. I had been given a bit of insider info actually - my midwife told me that the hospital only books 2 inductions a day, and that Monday and Tuesday were full. So Wednesday - which was also her day off, so she could come in as one of my support people - would be a really good day, and would mean I'd been able to wait for 2 weeks 5 days for my baby to come naturally. I said that if my body wasn't going to go naturally by then, that I would accept an induction because it would feel like a balanced decision.

Some home birthers won't agree with that but I have so many factors to consider (Dave back to work on the 10th, the health of baby, the risks going up & other factors), not least of all our stress levels through all of this and how it is becoming an issue rather than the happiest time of our lives - and I (we) feel that this is a compromise I (we) can live with.

Anyhow - the head nurse said she thought that as long as the monitoring on Monday was as good as the CTG tonight, that I would be armed with great ammunition to support my request to wait till Wedneday. Then she went in to bat with the Dr for me, and I know that wasn't easy! They don't like babies to be cooked this long! But she said the Dr agreed - he is happy at the health of baby, and has agreed that I should go the weekend, see what happens, and then come in Monday morning for a CTG. At that stage, he will talk to me personally and quite likely suggest an immediate induction to cover himself/the hospital - but if I refuse, he will gladly order a biophysical profile, and then if that is good we can negotiate the induction date which wouldn't be any earlier than Wednesday. Hopefully - with that much time up my sleeve - the baby will come in the meantime.

So I now have at least 5 days of being able to calmly wait for baby - knowing that after that time I can meet him whenever I choose, and that in the meantime he is healthy, happy and safe - and that I have the support I need from not only a home birth perspective, but also a medical perspective, to keep trying for this much awaited home water birth. What a relief all of that was! You could have felt the weight come off our shoulders, we have been so stressed!

So after that bit of reassuring news, the head midwife did an internal with my consent, and found that my cervix is anterior, very soft, about 3cm dilated, and only about 1/2cm thick. Baby's head firmly engaged, but still a bit more room for it to drop and thin out the cervix a bit which may happen before or during labour. AMAZING! I am so far past where we were only 48 hours ago!!! Even my midwife was really excited and amazed at my progress, and I take full credit for it considering everything I did yesterday (and to a lesser degree, today) to get this exact result.

Anyhow, then the midwife suggested a sweep and said that she thought it was the perfect time for a successful one to put me into labour within 48 hours. She did the sweep instead of my midwife (saying she had 'magic fingers' hehe!), and I must say she was much more experience and seemed much more effective than my midwife!! She said she was able to separate the membrane for 2cm up all the way around, could feel the baby's head easily and predicted I would have baby by the end of the weekend if I try sex, orgasms, nipple stimulation and visualisation. I told her "don't go telling me what I want to hear!" but both she and my midwife still feel I should get a GOOD SLEEP tonight :) If nothing else I feel much more positive now :) I have FIVE DAYS, plus the reassurance of knowing my baby is ok, and my body is working WITH me now! I feel so much more empowered!!!

OH and even better news - they said that if I DID go in for induction, they felt that with all my progress to now, and any I would make up till Wednesday, that all that would be needed would be a membrane rupture to start labour... no drip. So... then I can labour more peacefully without being confined to a bed. AND they have spa baths in the rooms - so I can at least labour in water if not give birth. I mentioned this and the head midwife said "Well, we DO birth in water sometimes you know" and looks at my midwife in a cheeky way...

I said "I thought you aren't allowed to?"

And she said "Well, I have to TELL you that I advise you to get out if you start pushing, but I can't MAKE you get out, and legally I am not allowed to pull the plug if membranes are broken so... if you don't/can't get out, what are we gonna do?"

Hmmm - sounds good to me!!! I'm feeling much better about everything now! I'll keep posting here with updates but I am VERY hopeful that I will have baby in arms in a pool full of warm water by the end of the weekend! :) Fingers crossed!

Oh and to my son - you OBVIOUSLY want to be a March baby and to be born in Autumn - just to prove me wrong about being a February Summer baby. Is THAT how it's gonna be around here hmmm??? OK son... you can get your way. JUST this once! :)

The most amazing thing...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:14:00 +0000

I need to preface this by saying - I am spiritual rather than religious, and I do believe that we have angels/spirits watching over us. I often ask my angels for help with things, and I feel I can connect to them and my spirit guides at times for assistance.

I have several decks of angel cards and tarot cards - which I haven't used for ages. But a couple of days ago I got out my favourite deck of angel cards, and I've been pulling out a card every now and then to just see what it says - kind of as a bit of support as I go through this rough time.

I was feeling a bit sorry for myself last night - and my cat, a ragdoll named Raz (pic at right), came in and started rubbing against me. He's a funny thing - he only wants attention when HE wants it, but lately he's been VERY clingy. I think he really senses something going on and probably knows I need comfort, as he's been doing a lot of things 'out of character' over the past week or two.

Anyhow - I picked him up in my arms, upside down, holding him like a baby - and sat at my desk saying to him "YOU can be my baby seeing as MY baby doesn't want to meet me yet!". He was just gazing up at me, looking at me direct in the eye, almost felt a little creepy like he knew exactly what I was thinking and saying.

So out of the blue, I say to him "Raz, why don't you go into baby's room and talk to the Angels and tell them to help my baby to come out now... You cats are so much closer to the spirit world than I am, so go and ask them for help". Then I put him down on the floor.

Well...He walks to the door of our office - stops - looks thoughtful - then turns and JUMPS up on my desk, walks over to my deck of Angel cards and pushes them with his nose.Hmmm. Strange. Without thinking, I grab up the cards, fan the deck out roughly and offer him the cards. After all I DID tell him to ask my angels for guidance on my behalf. Now this is the really strange bit that I swear happened EXACTLY as I tell it, no embellishment and no word of a lie...

He leans down and PULLS OUT ONE SINGLE CARD FROM THE 44 CARD DECK WITH HIS TEETH. I sat there stunned. It was still sitting in the pack, but pulled out about half way, very obvious WHICH card he 'chose'. Dave saw this and couldn't believe he'd done it. THEN he paws the card as well. OK ok I think - I'll see what card you picked.

I turn it over and read the message on it (all of this deck have a short message from your angels on each card) and I swear - I cried. Because the card that he picked out has a picture of an angel hovering over/protecting a pregnant woman - and the first words on the card say "It's a good time to give birth..."

Oh, my, GOD.

The card then goes on to say "I am watching over you, guiding you, and protecting you during these changes." The message from my Angels.

I told this story to my Mum today - she almost cried. It's just too strange to be a coincidence - I really feel as if it's a message to be strong and stand my ground, that I have support - and I CAN give birth naturally.

Oh and in case you're a bit skeptical - there is only ONE OTHER card in that whole deck that refers to babies or children - and it says "A happy addition is coming". The picture on THAT card is a woman holding a baby. So out of 44 cards, the card that he picked out with his TEETH was the most appropriate one in there.

And after that - just because I can't help myself - I randomly pulled out 4 or 5 more cards to see if I could choose one that might have some kind of message that I could read something into - you know, testing the theory. But every other card I chose was so irrelevant it was stupid - cards about moving into a new house, or looking for new love relationships.

So there you go ... My very special cat gave me a very special message. How amazing!

STILL not a Mummy and 12 days past due now...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 02:01:00 +0000

Well here we are, 12 days past my original due date of February 15th and I am still not a Mummy. I am feeling really down now and wondering if my plans for a home birth will need to be scrapped...

I had a slightly promising appointment with my midwife yesterday afternoon. She had come on Monday, and done a second stretch & sweep (which I will refer to as a S&S from here on in...) - but she had told me that I had made little progress since the past Thursday. My cervix was still high and not soft enough inside - only 1cm dilated - and very hard for her to reach to sweep it effectively. The sweep was SUPER painful - I was in tears and Dave came in when he heard me sobbing to hold my hand, that's how awful it was. But I stuck with it, told her to keep going, so I could meet my baby...

But yesterday afternoon, only 30 hours after the last check, she found my cervix to be REALLY soft, much lower (and easier to reach) and I'm 2cm dilated. She was able to do a really long, effective S&S - which was uncomfortable, but not painful like the day before. I felt hopeful that she may say "Oh you're getting close, it could be any day now!" but still - she said it could be soon, it could be a week, who knows. Great - just what I need to hear... She did say to keep doing what I had done the previous day - so last night it was more rocking, moving, leaning forward... today I'll be doing the castor oil thing again (in a double dose) and upping my dosage of herbs.

Anyhow... I had lots of tightness/pain last night, and obviously overnight as well because I was feeling very sore in the tummy this morning. Lots of show (sorry if TMI) since the sweep yesterday but that's to be expected. It feels really different 'down there' too, all swollen and 'pushed out' which has only happened in the last day or two. So fingers crossed that progress stays steady and I got into labour spontanesously really soon.

The plan is that I will definitely wait till Friday (at 2 weeks late) and then MY plan is that as long as my midwife approves, I will wait the weekend as well. Then - if he hasn't come on Monday, or I'm not in labour by then - we have some decisions to make about whether to monitor baby and wait, or induce, or some other plan. It will all depend on how healthy I am, how healthy bubs is, and how much I progress in that time.

So please - anyone reading this - send me positive vibes and lots of home birth labour energy so I can have my dream home birth. And ANY suggestions are welcome at this point too :)

Very frustrating...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 13:11:00 +0000

OK so now I'm 9 days - nearly 10 days (come tomorrow) overdue to have this baby and I'm OVER IT! I want the baby out NOW... tired of waiting, tired of telling people "No the baby isn't here yet..." and no matter how nice people are, I still feel a bit like a failure because there is always advice following on what I SHOULD be doing. Goodness me - don't you think if it can be DONE I am DOING it!??!

OK - enough of a whinge. I guess it's been a long and fruitless day without much progress and I'm just a bit frustrated and impatient.

Baby is moving HEAPS right now - he's squirming around and pushing up in my ribs. I hope he's pushing OFF my ribs and planting his head firmly in my pelvix like a good boy *sigh* I've had tenseness like mild period pain ALL NIGHT for hours on end - surely something is happening?

Tomorrow is Oscar's day - and as my good friends now, I am an Oscars FREAK. I usually have an Oscars Party with red carpet, champagne, feather boas, competitions.... obviously not having that this year, but I still thought I'd be watching the show with a baby in my arms. I suppose it could still happen but... then again wouldn't it JUST BE RIGHT for bubba to show up DURING the show so I have to miss my most anticipated night of the year! Gawd!

Anyhow - I am just going to try and stay focussed - have another midwife appointment in the morning and I will report my progress after that. I still have fingers crossed that tomorrow or Tuesday is the day.... and a few of my friends have guessed that will be the case - so I guess I will just have to be patient and wait it out. Not easy when you want to meet your son!

So ... send me lots of good energy and positive labour vibes - I need it!

Oh what a gorgeous evening it was!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 00:19:00 +0000

I just have to share about my wonderful night with Dave last night...

He officially started his 2 weeks annual leave after finishing work yesterday - so I suggested we do something special. We ended up getting some WONDERFUL Indian takeaway (spicy food can bring on labour!) and heading down to the beach with a bottle of wine and our picnic basket. After driving around for a few minutes along the beach at Burleigh Heads we found the PERFECT spot - a lovely little table which we set up with a tablecloth. We cracked open the wine (yes, I had a glass!) and laid out the food, and ate under the still-full moon.

Then we went for a walk along the beach - it was warm, but comfortable - and we got an ice cream. Everything was so lovely! It really helped us to relax and talk about the impending birth - and Dave is being so sweet, very attentive and tender toward me - I really feel that we are creating the perfect, relaxed and loving environment for our boy to be born into. Honestly, I'm glad that baby didn't come last week - this week just FEELS so much nicer. But now... any day, little one, ANY day would be JUST fine! :)

Will keep you all posted...

OK, OK - time for an update - and no, I am NOT a Mum yet!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 22:52:00 +0000

Yes - I was due on the 14th - or the 15th if you go by my dating scan. Whatever.

Either way, I'm now a week overdue - or to be more precise, the BABY is overdue. I was ok for the first week - but since yesterday - I'm getting a liiiiiittle frustrated.

I told you last week that the midwife thought I'd be at least a week away - so I knew to expect this. But still - you HOPE that after another week you'll have your baby in your arms and when it doesn't happen you get a bit down.

For most women, all this would mean is that by now their obstetrician - whether public or private - would be booking an induction. The average time a woman will go over is about 10 days, but if baby & Mum are healthy, and the woman would like to try and go into spontaneous labour, the OB may at their discretion extend this to 2 weeks.

For me, having a home birth - well the rules are slightly different. I wait as long as I want to - my midwife, providing the baby and I are well, will support my decision. But every day that baby doesn't come is a day closer to medical intervention. This is a home birther's worst nightmare!

I'm not going to give that idea much energy - I'm sure this little one will come soon - but I tell you, the pressure is on! Not only for the reasons of wanting to have my home birth and not have to go to hospital - but because Dave's idiot bosses at work have informed him that he has to start his holidays from tomorrow. He is only taking 2 weeks (despite having more owed) - which I think is the absolute MINIMUM that a new father should spend with their baby. But they say they're not willing to let him take it from when baby comes - he has to go now.

So now I have the pressure of knowing that if the worst case scenario happens, and I go over by another week to 10 days (which is possible) and THEN have to go to hospital - well by the time I get out, he'll be back at work. That is SO not what we wanted for this birth or for the baby - or for each other. I'm trying to stay focussed and positive - after all, bubby COULD come on the weekend, then we'll have a full 2 weeks together and everyone's happy! And I'm focussing on Dave and I spending the days waiting for bubby trying to relax, enjoying each other and our last few days as just a couple.

But still... *sigh*

On top of THAT - my doula is going away on Sunday - she didn't think apparently that I might be that late.
And on top of THAT - my midwife tells me yesterday that she's booked to work over the weekend, and was trying to work out what she'd do if I went into labour.

Although we all know that baby's are on nobody's timetable but their own - I feel like I'm putting EVERYONE out - not that I can do anything more than what I'm doing!

And what am I doing? Check this out - all the natural induction methods I have been trying since even before the 40 week mark:

having cups of Raspberry Leaf Tea every day, as well as capsules (been doing this since 36 weeks to strengthen the uterus and promote a faster, more productive labour)
taking Evening Primrose Oil and also using it internally (sorry if TMI)
having sex! having orgasms!
burning clary sage oil, and rubbing it on belly
walking
eating spicy food
nipple stimulation
bouncing on my fitball
swaying & rocking my hips
had my second session of acupuncture yesterday
midwife performed a stretch and sweep yesterday *more on this in a bit*

So as you can see - I'm TRYING to get this baby out!!! I wish I could relax a bit more - I mean I personally don't mind if he needs to 'cook' a bit longer, that's up to him ... but if he could come in the next few days that would really be best for EVERYONE...

The only thing I haven't tried - and won't try until I'm good and desperate - is taking castor oil. While it's supposed to be pretty good at inducing labour, it can also cause bad cramping, diarrhoea and dehydration - all things that make you weak and not as effective in labour. So it's a bit of a gamble.

So anyhow... how did my ultrasound go last Friday?

Perfectly!

Baby is VERY healthy - scored 8 out of 8 on the biophysical profile which means he's happy, healthy - he's getting plenty of nutrients from my placenta which is working wonderfully - he's moving heaps, practice breathing and a good size.

And speaking of size - you know how we thought we had a small baby? Well to give you some perspective - a small - but still healthy - baby is about 5-6 pounds. Under that can be considered an issue. Over that is very average, and very normal.

Well - they have predicted that as at a week ago baby weighs about 3.3kg --- give or take 800grams. That's anywhere between 6.5 and 8 pounds! But more likely to be about 7.2 pounds. So much for my tiny, easy-to-birth baby! And he would have grown since then - and will grow more if I go another week! So yep - he's healthy and there was NO need to worry at all *sigh* Ah well - at least we know now - and that will also help in the decision on how long to let me go overdue before turning to medical intervention...

So my doula suggested that I might try acupuncture to help induction. Had my first session last Tuesday - then another one yesterday. I was surprised how relaxing it was! Hopefully it will help my body to release oxytocin into my system, which will help induce labour. I have a third session booked for next Tuesday but I am HOPING I will need to cancel as baby is already here. Fingers crossed!

Also I had a midwife appointment yesterday. We talked about things, she's still sure he'll come when he's ready. She checked me again and while my cervix is softer than last week, it's still a bit high. Baby's head is engaged further but still not fully. So she thinks it might be next week *sigh*

As I mentioned earlier, she DID perform a stretch and sweep on me --- if you haven't heard of this before, basically a finger is inserted inside the opening to the cervix, and the membranes are carefully separated from the uterine wall.

IT IS PAINFUL!

Honestly - it was so bloody uncomfortable - I really had to breathe through it. But I just kept visualising my baby, and I want to meet him SO MUCH that I just let her go with it, even though I was really struggling, in the hope that it would help induce labour.

I had really strong abdominal cramping and Braxton Hicks contractions afterwards for about 4 hours... I actually felt a bit awful during that time and really wanted to just lie in bed (but had things to do). It caused a bit of very light spotting but that stopped after a couple of hours.

Then late last night I had a bit of a 'show' (TMI warning...) ... a show, for those who don't know, is when you are coming into labour (could be hours or days away though) you start to lose the mucus plug that blocks the opening of the cervix, as the cervix softens and thins. This thinning also can cause bleeding as some of the fine blood vessels burst - so a show is usually mucusy with some dark, old blood in it.

Well - that's what I had last night BUT - I refuse to get excited and read anything into it, because it was probably stirred up by my midwife. Still a show - but might not be a sign of labour. At least something's happening though.

So that's about it from me. Dave is here with me for 2 weeks from tomorrow, and sometime during that period we will have a son. There are a number of important days coming up that he could be born on: 24th is Mum's birthday; 25th is Academy Awards day (my friends now why this is significant! LOL!); the 27th is my late Nan's birthday - and of course the 29th is leap year day! I really don't want a leap year baby! AUGH!

And then of course it's March....... and while I'll only be 15 days over by then, it's daunting to think I might have my baby in a whole other month than what we expected. Let's not even think about that...

Hopefully I will keep things up-to-date here more frequently from now on. I appreciate your feedback and support - I am just trying to stay positive, focussed on my home birth, and patiently wait for my son. It will all be worth it in the end! Nothing worth having comes without a struggle - and I believe that! :)

40 week appointment with midwife today...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 06:31:00 +0000

Well I had my 40 week appointment today with my midwife. Everything is good, baby is developing but he's nowhere near coming out *sigh* Midwife says that it will likely be at LEAST a week before he makes his arrival...

But baby still does seem to be small-ish and to ease our minds, I will be going for an ultrasound tomorrow. It was a really difficult decision to make - as a home birthing woman wants a minimal of intervention etc. I don't feel up to going into this in great detail as I've already had a long conversation with my midwife and Dave about it - as well as my Mum - and then wrote out a long post for my baby forum. So what I'll do is just cut and paste the post from the baby forum in here as an update... I hope that explains everything! I will update again tomorrow after the ultrasound but basically - I feel everything is FINE, but we just want to make sure :) Read on...

Hi Ladies,

I thought I would start a thread to update you on my status - and hopefully when bubs decides to come I can post it here :)

I had my 40wk appointment today with my midwife. All seems ok, but she still has a slight concern that maybe my belly/fundal height/baby is small. I am measuring 37cm in fundal height (and there were a couple of weeks there where it didn't change much) and my belly is REALLY tiny for 40 weeks, so there is a chance (small) that baby isn't getting enough nutrients, or that the placenta isn't working properly or that he doesn't have enough amniotic fluid. We don't THINK it's a problem, because everything else all the way through has been perfect, and I have none of the risk signs. It really is 50/50 whether we should do anything further or just wait for him to come.

We decided last week that if he were going to come any day now, we would just trust that he's moving heaps and I am really healthy, and not worry. Maybe I just make small babies - or he's average and I'm holding him well inside and he's good and scrunched up. Everything to date has progressed as it should and this has only been a bit of a concern the last 2 weeks. And seeing as he could have been here any day, there's really no worries short term even if he did have an issue with getting nutrients or growing bigger.

But when my midwife did an internal today, she discovered that it looks like he's not coming for a while. He had grown a bit this last week (fundal height increased by 1cm) but she found his head is still quite high and my cervix is only starting to soften and open. She DID confirm that I felt his head the other day, he's just bounced back up a little now and is less engaged than last week because he's turned posterior. She said she could 'fit a finger' in my cervix, and the outside had softened a bit - but it was still fairly high and - in her opinion - she didn't think that baby would be here for a while. Her exact words were "I'd be VERY surprised if he came in the next week..."

So now, if he won't be here for a week or two (because I am having a home birth, he will be allowed to continue in there till at least 42 weeks, then we'll take it day by day before allowing medical intervention), and if he is in fact having issues, then we should be responsible and know for sure. It could get very serious in one or two more weeks if there is a problem. If there ISN'T a problem, then we know all is good and he can safely 'cook' for a while longer.

So the plan of attack is:

* I am going for an ultrasound tomorrow (found a homebirth friendly GP to refer me thank goodness) to make sure that everything is healthy with bubs. My instinct says it's all fine, and my midwife agrees, but we just want to be completely sure that he's safe in there for up to 2 more weeks. We decided to do it that way (referral then private ultrasound) so I didn't have to go to a public hospital and be pressured into intervention or induction etc etc. Downside is that it's not Medicare eligible and will cost me $170. But you can't put a price on your child's health. Oh & DH can't come with, very short notice as I got booked in quick as it's urgent. :(

* I am going to try more natural induction methods so I don't go too far over - we're kind of ok about him lasting another week - but after that we want him to come before much longer. Ideally by my next appt (in a week) he'll be almost ready to go. So I'm starting EPO today, upping my RLT, having orgasms (not right NOW! LOL!), walking, rocking while leaning forward (to help his head move down and assist with posterior position) and anything else I can think of (suggestions welcoem)! Midwife will also do a S&S next week if it looks necessary

So I'm slightly nervous --- I feel in my heart that everything is ok, and at least I am going to get the ultrasound at a radiology clinic instead of the hospital, so I can get the results myself --- and they will give me an unbiased diagnosis instead of a medical opinion on (and pressure about) what I should do. And I'm excited to see my boy after 20 weeks! But ... I guess there's always that chance that some indicator will be off JUST enough for my midwife to suggest I go to hospital for an induction and/or (my worst fear) a CS. I know she'd never do that unless it was medically necessary for the health of the baby... and of course that's my priority - but still, not only would I have to birth publicly (because my private hospital insurance won't cover me if I hadn't already booked in etc) but I'd miss out on:

1. my home birth
2. birthing in water
3. the $3500 I paid to my midwife (no refund)

Ultimately I want a healthy baby but still... I guess I just hope that my instincts are correct and baby will be healthy, and ready to come out in no more than 2 weeks... so everything can happen the way we have planned it for so long. I've been SO excited about this home birth! I just don't want anything to jeopardise it.

It seems so silly that ALL the way through my pregnancy has been PERFECT and now, at full term, the first hiccup arises! Bloody hell!

Sorry for the long post girls, I just had to get some of this out - I don't want to lay all this on DH - I'm the strong one and I don't want him to think that I am fearful or concerned in any way.

My U/S is at 3pm (QLD time) tomorrow so I will update after that...

Thanks for listening.........

Feeling some very unusual feelings today - could something be happening???

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 09:17:00 +0000

Well... today has been pretty interesing. Spent all day at home but throughout the whole day I've had tightening sensations in my abdomen, funny feelings down low in my pelvis, and some severe hip pain in my bad hip (I have hip dysplasia/arthritis in my left hip from an undetected birth defect...) which makes me think baby is dropping further, engaging, and pushing my pelvic bones etc - causing the pain.

It definitely feels like something more serious is happening - of course that doesn't mean I'll be in labour in the next day or two, but I certainly can't see me still being pregnant in a week... fingers crossed!

Other than that - we went shopping yesterday, had a really nice day off together - Dave got a few more animals for his window garden scene, I got some maternity bras and breast pads. How romantic! ha!

When we got home, we went and tidied up the front garden and Dave worked a bit more on his jungle scene, adding the new animals and some rocks, and clearing away some weeds and dead leaves. He's so proud of that project and it's looking great!

Anyhow - not much else to report other than that... will update with more info if/when it looks like labour might begin!

Hmmm.... interesting....

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 00:35:00 +0000

OK so I'm 39w 1d preggy now... depending on which due date you trust, but that's going by the latest date I was given... and so I'm ready for the little one to come any time now but I realise it could be another week or two yet.

So I went to tarot.com, a pretty cool site, and asked for my daily tarot card to see if there was any kind of 'message' for me there about when baby would arrive...

The card I got was the "MOON" card ... and this is quite interesting because there is a full moon on the 21st, and I've said for months that I wouldn't be surprised if I have baby around that date. I have also said, all the way along, that this baby is probably going to be a Pisces child instead of an Aquarian - and Pisces starts on the 18th.

So imagine my surprise when I read the following associations with the "Moon" tarot card:

Fast Facts About The Moon

Theme: This is an opportunity to penetrate your inner life.
Astro Association: Pisces
Element: Water
Number: 18

Pretty interesting huh? I mean this boy is going to be born into water - and I think he might be a Pisces, which starts on the 18th, influenced by the full moon... seems like it might be trying to tell me something? Or I could be reading too much into it?

I really hope that bubby comes before the 20th though - because even though Mum is no longer going to NZ on that day, my Dad still is and I KNOW how excited he is about meeting his grandson :) So if bubby comes on the 18th, that would be perfect! :)

Will keep you posted but don't feel like anything is going to happen this weekend so I guess I just have to be patient... *sigh* Not that it's easy! :)

Yet another update, but very little to tell...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:12:00 +0000

Well another day, another update but very little to tell. I am feeling kind of exhausted today, not sure why but I did pack in a fair bit with Dave yesterday (his day off) and then only had about 6 hours sleep. Probably not a great idea!

Point form seems SO much easier right now hehe - so that's what Ima gonna do!

Had a midwife appointment yesterday. Everything is good, baby is healthy and heartbeat is strong... he hasn't engaged any further and she's very slightly concerned that he doesn't seem to be a very big baby and my fundus isn't growing at the rate it should the last week or so. She says gut instinct tells her everything is fine, but if he hasn't come by next week when we meet, and my fundal height hasn't increased much, then we MIGHT consider just getting an ultrasound for peace of mind. I'm not too concerned - I sense that everything is fine - but better safe than sorry :)
All this week I've had more tension in my abdomen, occasional period-like pain, a few strong contraction feelings and lots of tightening. I've been more tired too, and a bit hungrier but craving stuff like fruit - I actually went out at 8:30pm last night to get some fruit before the supermarket shut! I HAD to have it! :) Not a bad craving to have I suppose - and that watermelon tasted like nectar of the Gods haha!
Dave bought a little stuffed monkey yesterday - it's SO cute, with big googly eyes, and I thought he was buying it for the baby seeing as we call him our 'monkey'. But he decided to keep it for himself and take it to work to put on his desk! LOL! Mind you - it's as a tribute to baby, and will end up next to a picture of bubby so... I suppose that's ok!
I got the last couple of things yesterday that I really need before bubs comes - a head support for the baby capsule and a pram/stroller toy. Now I just have to work out what brands to buy of the last two things I need - a breast pump (been told to go electric for that if possible) and a baby monitor. If anyone has advice on brands, please share! :)

Well that's it from me... bubby has hiccups right now, which he gets nearly every day, it's the oddest feeling - he jumps in regular intervals and I feel it right down low. Actually - now that I think of it - I am feeling it lower than I used to. I hope that's a good sign! I have been telling him it's OK for him to come any time now, and I REALLY want him to arrive in the next week so he's not overdue. Fingers crossed!!! Will keep you posted :) Who knows, the next post I leave here could be the "He's Arrived!" post! :)

Just keeping you updated - oh the pressure of it all!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 00:09:00 +0000

OK so the last thing I need right now is PRESSURE - I'm trying to enjoy the last few weeks of pregnancy because you know - it MAY never happen again, by choice or by fate...

I still have lots I want to do, setting up my Ebay further so that I have plenty of stock up for sale to make me money in the first few weeks when I won't have time to run it effectively - and building up this new business idea I'm working on... so I'm enjoying having another 10 days or so till bubby is due...

Having said that - 80% of first-time Mum's DO go over their due date by up to 2 weeks. I am 99% sure bub will come in Feb but that's about the only thing I know for sure - it could be ANY time...

So firstly - I have the (slight) pressure of knowing that Dave has booked in his 2 weeks off starting from the 16th Feb ... he had to do that, but we are both fairly sure that if bubby hasn't come by then he'll be able to keep working and take the 2 weeks from the birth day. Fingers crossed on that one though - his workplace hasn't always been so supportive of time off related to the baby. They wouldn't give him 2 hours off one morning to attend the scan to find out baby's sex - can you believe that??

Anyhow - we're hopeful that seeing as I met his GM at a recent dinner, and we hit it off - and seeing as I actually spoke to the GM about this in passing and he kind of said "Well you want him for 2 weeks from when baby is born, is that right?" and I said "YES!" --- well let's hope that's all good :) Dave is quite adamant about what he wants for once too (usually he puts other's needs first even if it puts him on the back foot, but not this time...), so I'm sure he'll put his foot down.

But regardless --- I know that if I get to the 15th and there is no sign of bubs, I'll be a bit nervous until we get the all clear for Dave to keep working... so that was enough pressure for baby to come on time right there.

BUT NOW - my dear Mother calls me Friday night to inform me that Dad has been given a bonus at work, AND they want him to go to New Zealand for work for 4 or 5 days on the 20th February - AND they are paying for her to go with him!

I said to her "MUM! You're one of my support people! What if I haven't had bubby by then? That's not even a week overdue - that's highly possible, even likely!"

She says "Oh you won't go over, I think you'll have him on the 11th..."

And I say "Well what if I DON'T have him??"

And she gets a bit silent and says in a sort of sad voice "Oh well I suppose I won't go..."

AUGH!!! The pressure of it all!!!

Then I say "Mum, regardless of that.... even if he comes on time or only a few days late - do you REALLY want to leave your first child, the one you've been waiting SO LONG for, within days of his birth?"

And she says "It's only a few DAYS!"

Gawd.... I mean, I want her to go, she loves NZ, has heaps of friends there including her best friend whose daughter is due to have a baby about the same time as me, but it's her second so she will definitely have had it by the time Mum gets there. But really - now I have that in the back of my mind too... she seems so sure I'll have the baby in the next week, and then she'll have a week with him, a few days away - and everyone's happy. And I want that for her!!! But I don't think baby is going to do the CONVENIENT thing and make everyone happy! LOL!

Anyhow I had my midwife appointment on Saturday - it went really well, and we had a great personal chat too which helped us to become closer and get to know each other better. She's happy with my progress, and baby is about 3/5 engaged and has moved down since my last appointment a week ago - progress! Yay! We talked about labour, talked about breastfeeding, talked about my expectations...

And we talked about when I might be due - and she told me that she doesn't like to say things like this but... seeing as Mum is talking about going away ... she wanted to say that she doesn't really think I'm CLOSE to having baby, and I could even be 3 weeks away yet! (that would be 10 days overdue, about the 23rd...) She asked me what I would do if Mum isn't at the birth etc etc...

I told her that I don't NEED Mum there - I feel that I have a good team regardless - and it's not like I feel like she's my main emotional support or anything like that - in fact I have her there 50% for me, but 50% because it's something I want for HER and I just always assumed that my Mum would be there when I gave birth one day.

So anyhow - if Mum can't be there, I won't add anyone else - I don't feel I need it, seeing as I have Dave, my wonderful doula, and two fantastic midwives. That's enough for an independent girl like me who is already saying "I don't want to call anyone till I've been in labour a few hours, so I can centre myself and have some time to just be alone..."

BUT.... then I spoke to Mum yesterday and told her what my midwife said about possibly being 3 weeks away - and she said that she didn't want to miss the birth, and that she better tell Dad not to book for her - that they'll go together over there later on in a month or two at their own expense...

I told her to at least just wait for him to book until my next midwife appointment on Thursday 7th Feb - and that we might have more info then, as I may be getting a cervical check at that stage that will give some indication of how far away I am...

So... needless to say I'm now desperately hoping that things start progressing over the next few days and that baby ends up coming sometime next week! :)

To that end - I have been googling 'natural induction methods' because there are all sorts of ideas, old wives tales and actual medical/naturopathic methods for bringing on labour. I don't just want to go on time, or shortly after, because of the pressures I described above - but also because the longer I go over the more in jeopardy my home birth becomes. If I go too far over there will be talk about going to hospital to be induced which I do NOT want... and let's not go there and give THAT thought too much energy...

So anyway... I have looked into natural induction methods, several of which I have already been doing, but also tried a couple more last night. I have already been taking Raspberry Leaf Tea, in the tea form and the capsule form, for about 4 weeks. This is meant to tone the uterus, helping with labour, shortening labour, and also ripening the cervix (which brings on an earlier labour). I have also - sorry if too much info here! - kept up a fairly regular sex life. I won't go into the details of WHY that helps bring on labour but basically there are components in male sperm - and chemicals released during female orgasm - which help to ripen the cervix and to assist in the beginning of labour.

I've also read that nipple stimulation helps - so I tried that for a while last night. Oh gawd how hilarious - sitting there watching an episode of Heroes and twiddling my thumbs, so to speak! Haha!

Look - it occurs to me here that all this is probably too much for you male type people reading this, and for you ladies who have never been preggie but honestly - one day YOU will be talking about this stuff as if it's the most ordinary thing in the world too, so cut me some slack! :)

We also went to the Motor Show yesterday and we were walking around for nearly the entire 5 hours we were there (it was good fun by the way!) - and apparently walking is a good help as well. So I'll continue to do some of that - even on the treadmill, which I'll have to do today as it's POURING with rain and looks completely set in for the whole day...

And last but not least - I am going to try bouncing on my birth/exercise ball - maybe I should get Dave to take a picture of me doing that haha. But apparently that can help the baby 'move down' :)

So... that's the mission this week - to commit to spending time on those natural induction methods and see if we can make the little man show up before let's say - the 18th? :) That would be good! :)

Will keep you posted on progress... very exciting, isn't it? :) Whoohoo! :)

Aw Mum is being SOOO cute!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 08:27:00 +0000

It's so cute - my Mum is getting VERY excited about meeting her first grand child! Of course, she's had a LONG wait - she had me (her first child) at 30 and I'm having my first at nearly 36. And seeing as she is the most child-loving person I know, I knew that when I told her about baby she'd be over the moon.

Funnily enough she has been VERY interested - but not actually excited - up till now. She told me recently that she doesn't think it has REALLY sunk in yet, even though I took her to one of my ultrasounds.

But now - it's so funny - she's convinced I will be a little early (she's betting on Feb 11) and she's starting to get all protective and mother-hen with me. She called me other day to say she will ALWAYS have her mobile phone on and with her if she's not at home... she's had a mobile for years, but rarely uses it. And if she gets a missed call she'll call to see if it was me. We talk every day, been seeing each other at least once a week. It's lovely to have her so involved and I know she will be the best grandmother in the whole world - I mean, she was the best grandmother I know of to my stepson Jaidyn, so when it's her own grandchild... I think my boy is going to be VERY spoiled!

It's great that she'll be here for the birth too, as she has delivered hundreds of babies, albeit 30 to 40 years ago in the 70's/80's but those midwife instincts don't leave you - and she'll be good support to me. I just hope she doesn't get worried - a couple of times lately she seems concerned about the minimal medical care I am receiving because of the home birth, but I keep re-assuring her that everything is fine and that she needs to trust me and my instincts. Hard for her!

But it's lovely to have Mum involved every step of the way and I know that my son will be a much better person for having her in his life. Thanks Mum - I love you! :)

Niggly feelings, and a new capsule in the car!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:42:00 +0000

Well as you can see I'm trying to keep up with this blog at least every second day and so far I'm being terribly good at it haha!

Not terribly much to update on - I had a few niggly, crampy period-like pains this morning that went on for a few hours, and I also think baby has dropped down a bit - it looks that way, anyway. So things are definitely happening! :) Progress is good!

And this morning I got the baby capsule installed in the car. We decided to hire a capsule - only $65 for 6 months, and they install it for you too. It is going to be good because we won't have to wake the baby to get him in and out of the car, which will be handy. The only downside is how much room it takes up in the car! Not much passenger seat room in the car now - which is fine when I'm driving by myself but when Dave & I go anywhere together we'll probably have to make him drive. No more designated driver for me haha! :)

Oh on another note - Dave just bought some plastic jungle animals yesterday for his project. Have I mentioned the "PROJECT" yet? hehe! Well basically he wants to build a jungle scene outside the window of the nursery - there is a big tree out there and so he wants to make kind of a window display for the baby to grow up with. The first step has been taken with the items he bought yesterday - he placed them out there and now he wants to get a few more animals when we can find them, like a zebra and giraffe and tiger etc - some more birds in the tree - and then put in a waterhole and rocks and all sorts of stuff - he's really taking it very seriously and is getting into it. I think it's lovely that it's something special he wants to do for his son! I've just taken some pictures which I've added here - cute huh? :)

The nursery is done - well, mostly!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 08:40:00 +0000

I'm so happy - finally, at 38 weeks pregnant, I have a completed nursery! The last piece of furniture was delivered the other day and now we have set it all up - I think it's gorgeous, I am SO happy with it - take a look at the pics below, although they don't really allow you to see everything correctly or do it justice. I may add a short video in here too.

But basically all we want to do now is:

a) put baby's name above his bed in large white wooden letters (which we already have, just have to mount)

b) put a shelf unit above the blanket box, which will be painted white. The shelf unit is great, I will post a pic at some point

c) put a white framed colourful jungle print above the dresser

Then it will be DONE! :) Yay!

In a way I'm glad we waited so long to do the nursery, not that it was what we wanted or intended - it just kinda happened that way due to other people, like our painter-friend, being slack - but now it makes everything much more exciting. I think if everything had been sitting there ready to go already, and I hadn't still had so much to do while on leave, I might have gotten anxious or impatient or bored. But as it is, I'm just excited!

The baby seat gets fitted on Thursday so I have let bubby know he can arrive sometime after that :) Will be interesting to see when he actually decides to join us - so many people think I will go early and I've heard SO MANY ladies going early lately - maybe it's the hot weather and the storms, or something in the air. :) All very mysterious but the one thing I know is - he'll come when he's good and ready, and not a minute before. So what's the point of stressing? :)

OK here are my pics - enjoy! I would love to hear your comments, and I'll update with video or better pics when I get the chance...

Been feeling a bit 'off' - is something happening?

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 08:29:00 +0000

Well yesterday I had a rather strange experience - my vision got really blurred for about an hour, and I could barely see. Then I got a bit of a headache as well - and didn't feel quite right for the rest of the day. Today I was really tired too, and feeling lightheaded at times. I've had a few stronger pains down low and it's got me thinking - is something starting to happen? Maybe he's moving into position and it's taking a bit of a toll on my body - or maybe I've been pushing myself too hard. That could be it... I haven't slowed down much.

But I'm taking it as a sign to relax a bit more and enjoy these last few weeks of being not-a-mother, and our family being just Dave and I. It sort of hit me today that major changes are coming our way - so I'm going to take Dave out to dinner tonight for a 'date night', buying him dinner and treating him nice :) We won't be able to do that too often from now on!

I pampered myself a bit today with a trip to the hairdresser, got my hair all trimmed up and shaped, and a colour put in. I'm all set now, won't need to worry about it for a few months, not that I'll be able to! :)

I've been reading up about the last few baby products we need to buy - a baby sling, baby monitor and a breast pump. There are so many different varieties of those 3 products and so many different prices - it's VERY hard to know what to get! But after a lot of research, going through product reviews, reading advice from mothers on message boards etc... I think that the best sling may be the Hugabub Sling (www.hugabub.com) and the best breast pump the Medela Swing electric. Jury is still out on the monitor :) I think, seeing as it's technically a 'gadget', that I'll rope Dave into helping me with that one.

Now I just have to find both of those products on Ebay at bargain prices - a bit of a challenge seeing as they are both so popular and seem to hold their value. But I guess that's of benefit to us too, hopefully when we go to resell we'll have no problems recouping much of our costs.

Well I better go get ready to take my gorgeous husband out for dinner - I'm taking him to Outback Jacks, he's been wanting ribs for a few weeks now and I fancy some buffalo wings. We've never been there before, so I hope it's good! Wish me luck! :)

Finally - all about the baby shower!

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 23:41:00 +0000

Well it's been 2 weeks since the baby shower (which was on January 12, 2008) so yes, I'm incredibly slack about writing about it! But I have a bit of time up my sleeve today - considering I'm actually trying to relax for just ONE day - so I thought I'd catch up on my backlog :)

Christine, one of my closest friends, organised the whole baby shower and she did an amazing job! The party was held at Mum's place, and she organised a whole lot of stuff too - and roped Dad, Andrew and Kevin into helping with the decorations before we had to kick them out of the house! The food was incredible - here are a few pictures showing how much trouble she went to. There was a chocolate fountain as well which was really cool... I got a lot of ideas from her that I hope to 'borrow' in the future for other friend's showers!

About half the people invited showed up, which was great considering they only had 2 weeks notice and it was just after Christmas and New Year. The lovely girls who showed up (apart from Chris and my Mum) were Mum's best friend Judi, my cousin Chilli, Lauren, Liz, Claudia, Andrea, Natalie, Katrina, and Emma. It was a really great little group. I got some gorgeous gifts, all sorts of stuff - and we played some fun games. It was meant to go from 2-4pm but I don't think everyone left until after 5pm - the sign of a great party! :)

So all in all it was a wonderful day - here is a shot of me opening the gifts - my boy is so spoiled, and I'm sure this is only JUST the beginning! :)

More soon... I promise!

No... this isn't about the baby shower. Yet...

noreply@blogger.com (~* Tracey *~) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 09:45:00 +0000

But just a couple of things I want to mention....

I was chatting to my belly yesterday, and asked the little man when he was going to come and see us. When I mentioned some dates, he kicked out twice when I said February 1st. Hmmm. Wonder if it means anything? Oh and Mum thinks 11th Feb is the day. We shall see!
I put the new cot together today! All by myelf! I love it - but the mattress we had already is a bit small. So I will have to get a new one - more expsense! Augh! Will it never end?
I have had a few feelings in the past week - hard to describe but - as if I can sense my body getting ready for the baby to come out. I was quite ahhhh.... (TMI warning!) moist last night, was wondering if it was a show or some fluid leaking but possibly it wasn't. And I've had some strong cramps that I can feel all through my middle to my bottom - Mum thinks maybe he's engaging. I hope so!
I have bought nearly everything I was still missing out on now - except a few little things like breast pads and mittens and stuff like that. As soon as the rest of the nursery furniture comes this weekend - and the old furniture gets picked up - then I can set it all up ready to go. I cannot BELIEVE that me - the Queen of Organisation - is only just NOW getting the nursery set up. It's bizarre!

That's all I can think of for now but I'm sure I'll be back shortly with more! I must talk about the baby shower more - it just seems such a chore *sigh* But ... if this is my only record of everything I suppose I should try and be a bit more committed to it!!! OK, I'll blog more - I promise! :)