So we decided to have a baby...

Dave and I got married on December 4, 2005 --- and being that we were 30 and 33 respectively, we both had talked previously about wanting to have children. Surprisingly, Dave was the more gung-ho one initially - he talked about our future before we were even engaged, and what baby car to buy, and even took a cot offered by a friend for free at about 8 months into our relationship.

We both had the same thought that one child would be enough. Of course NOW we are keeping it all open and we MAY have another if all goes well with this one - but back then - one it would be. Dave thought it best to have the child by the time I was 35 - and over time I subscribed to this theory. It seemed fair...

After we were married for a few months I started to realise that hey, I was just turning 34 and geez - it could take a while for us to fall pregnant, now that I think about it! I guess I was happy, in love, had met the man I felt would be with me forever and I was ready to let my biological clock start ticking. I truly believe it started well before then but I consciously decided to not take any notice.

In June 2006, when we'd been married a little over six months, I told Dave that I was going to stop taking birth control pills and have a pre-natal check-up. I told him that I wanted my body to have some time to prepare before we started trying, and he agreed that this would be a smart idea.

I went for a full check-up and lucky I did that, as it turned out that I wasn't immune for Rubella even though I had been vaccinated as a teenager. I had to have another vaccination, and then wait a few months to be tested again. In the meantime I started taking pregnancy vitamins to prepare my body and kept eating well and losing weight (I had started in May, and by August had dropped 10kgs)...

We were planning a really great trip to Hawaii for late August early September, and we were doing it in STYLE! It was to be our belated honeymoon, and last swansong before we started a family... and in fact, we decided that we would start trying officially while we were away!

Then 10 days before we were to leave, Dave was playing tennis and injured himself by snapping his patella tendon off his knee. The short story is: we had to cancel our Hawaii trip, he was bedridden & off work for 2 months and only hobbling around for several more, and obviously for many reasons our baby-making plans were put on hold. I was still ready to start trying any time, but the turmoil we'd been through caused Dave to have some second thoughts about whether it was the right time. I think he needed time to feel 'whole' again - the accident really affected him mentally and emotionally as well as physically, and a few other really negative things that went on over that time also tested his strength and pushed him very hard over those months. In hindsight, he was right to put his foot down and say that we needed to put off TTC (trying to conceive) for a while...

Fast forward over those few pretty horrible and stressful months (and there we are, just after we have said "Happy New Year" to 2007. Dave leans close to me and says "I'm ready..." I cried.

NOW - be warned - this is where I might actually be sharing TOO much information for some of you. But let's face it - making babies is a bit of a messy business at times, and involves many bodily functions. But somehow, when you start TTC and then fall pregnant, all that seems awfully normal and OK to talk about. So - just gloss over any bits that make you feel like you are invading my privacy, but for the other people reading this you may just learn something or find some hope by knowing about my journey - so that is why I'm sharing :)

So I started consciously monitoring my cycles, I bought some pregnancy tests and ovulation tests on Ebay quite cheaply in a pack, and I joined up a few online TTC forums. Up till then, ever since stopping birth control in June the previous year, my cycles had been perfect and spot on 28 days. Our first opportunity to try came around mid-January and then I had the horrible 2WW (2 week wait) to see if I was pregnant. My usual 28 day cycle stretched to 31 days and I got quite excited, but pregnancy tests came up negative. Then on the 31st day, I thought it was all over but strangely enough my usual 4-day, medium flow visit from AF (Aunt Flo) was actually only 1.5 days and incredibly light. I wondered if I could actually be pregnant but having an implantation bleed which I had read about. I also thought I had some symptoms however (what i realise now were probably the dreaded IPS or Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms that seem quite common amongst women who really want to be pregnant!) so I went to my doctor for a blood test to be sure...

The test was negative, and I was pretty disappointed... I mean, we all know logically that the majority of women, and especially women my age (I turned 35 a month later) do NOT fall pregnant on their first month trying but hey - we all live in hope!

We started trying again and might I add - I NEVER had any luck with the pee-on-a-stick ovulation testers. But I DID try. Back into the 2ww.... which stretched to a 4ww before AF arrived again. During that 2 week period where AF should have come but didn't, I tested every few days PRAYING for two lines to come up but they never did. I was incredibly frustrated... how come my cycle was 28 days for 7 cycles BEFORE starting to try in earnest - but now that we were trying it was 31 days, then 42 days (or 6 weeks!) with NO good reason for it...

I turned to some of my online forums - I got asked what I'd changed when we started trying. I said NOTHING! I had already been off birth control for 7 months and had already been taking pregnancy supplements. All that changed was our intention to try... but I think I was probably thinking too much about it, which may have actually affected my body as well...

So we go on to our third cycle of trying and by this time I can see that Dave is feeling some negative feelings toward the process - he was feeling a bit used... when it was time to do the deed, I was trying to fit it in at least every second day. But in the wait after that, I was quite pre-occupied and disinterested. It is all natural for women to do this and for men to react badly to this, and happens all the time - but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with when it happens to YOU!

We hit a bit of a stumbling block and to be honest, on that third cycle, we probably didn't have as many successful attempts in our 'window of opportunity' as we should have... and besides that, my cycles were probably all out of whack and who KNOWS when I was ovulating. We should have just started two weeks into the cycle and tried to keep it up every 2nd or 3rd day but... we didn't. And that cycle actually stretched to 7 weeks, or 49 days!!! Without going into all the ins and outs of cycle phases (luteal phase) etc... it's safe to say we probably missed the boat that cycle altogether.

By this time it was the start of May and we'd only had 3 cycles of trying since January due to my whacky cycles, and I was getting a bit frustrated by that. So.... I decided to just not even think about it. I was fed up with myself - I had to let go and just let it happen.

I got really busy at work in May and got a big promotion... we lost some staff and my workload increased. I didn't have much time to think, and Dave had just gotten into the swing of things in his new job too... it was a busy time in our lives.

I had NO idea when I ovulated - I just thought that we should enjoy each other as much as we had time to throughout the month and hope for the best. Around two weeks into the cycle - and therefore around the time I SHOULD have ovulated, we had Dave's father and partner come to stay for a few days. It was quite a fun time for us, we had four days off together in a row and we just ENJOYED ourselves for the first time in ages. We went to Sea World on the Thursday (24 May), just the two of us, and had a wonderful day - we felt really 'connected' and I remember having a really romantic night that night. In hindsight, I realise that this was likely to be when our son was conceived...

Over the next few weeks we were really busy... and I can honestly say that I hardly even thought about whether I could be pregnant or not. I still had no idea when I should expect AF to show up after my last two mega-cycles, so I didn't even consider myself 'late' when I got to the 5 week mark without AF arriving.

On June 16, 2007 - a Saturday - Dave had a rare day off. He usually works on Saturdays and only gets one off work every six weeks or so. We had plans to go out that evening and have a BIG night... so when I drowsily pulled myself up out of bed to go to the bathroom at 8am that morning (we were having a much-needed sleep-in) some thought in the back of my head popped up and suggested that I should do a test JUST in case - because if I WERE pregnant, I wouldn't be able to have a big a night as we'd planned. And... hmm now that I came to think of it... I WAS at 5 weeks into the cycle so...

Bleary-eyed, I peed on the stick - popped it on the counter - and then stood up to wash my hands. I glanced at the pregnancy test - normally they suggest that you read it after 3 or 5 minutes, because it often takes that long to come up with a result due to the low hormone levels of early pregnancy.

I glanced over and my heart jumped. There were two lines - and the second line was just as fat and dark as the control line. And it had come up in seconds, not minutes! That seemed like a pretty strong positive to me but still I didn't believe it.

Poor Dave was still half asleep, lolling in bed, and had NO IDEA that I was testing. I had tears in my eyes, I couldn't believe it... it MUST be a mistake. I crawled into bed beside him with the test in my hand and gently tried to rouse him. He looked at me, then frowned - he could see the tears in my eyes and was concerned. I snuggled up to him, and looked him in the eyes and said "Honey, I just thought I better do a test before tonight - just in case..." He looked at me, didn't speak - I think he was taking that statement in and realising what was about to come. I held up the test to show him... he looked at it and said "Are there meant to be two lines?"

I said "Yes ... if I'm pregnant there should be..." and then got really sooky, sniffling and acting awfully silly. He cuddled me and asked how accurate it was - not because he was in shock, but because he knew how much it meant to both of us and didnt' want to get his hopes up if it could be wrong...

I said "I don't know, I guess it could be wrong - but it came up in seconds, and so dark..."

He said "Maybe you should do one more - do you have a different brand?"

I did... and that was a good suggestion. The one I'd used was an Ebay cheapie, but I did have a more expensive chemist brand as well. So we lay in bed for the next half hour, waiting for me to be able to pee again, and didn't say much. We just cuddled. I did say to Dave that you are meant to use first morning urine to test, and that doing it again only a half hour might mean that we didn't get much of a result as the hormones wouldn't have time to be concentrated enough in my pee.

But I needn't have worried - I tested again - and the results came up JUST as strong, just as fast.... I was DEFINITELY pregnant!

I can honestly say I was so excited that I was all muddled, I had no idea what to do... thank God for Dave being so supportive and clear-thinking. I was all over the place!

He suggested that I would need to confirm the pregnancy with my Dr - and luckily he was open on Saturdays! We decided to try and make an appointment right away, and then we would drop by to tell my parents. I had to tell SOMEONE! My parents didn't even know we were trying - and I knew this would be the most amazing news for the, especially for my mother. She had been at me for YEARS about starting a family and I think that she kind of thought it would never happen. That would have been such a shame because my mother is the opitome of what a grandmother should be - she was MADE to be a Nanna!

So I called the doctor's office and the conversation went like this:

Me: Could I please make an appointment to see the Dr, preferably this morning?
Receptionist: Of course, may I ask what kind of appointment you require?
Me: Well I just did two pregnancy tests, and they both came up positive, so I just need to find out if I am really pregnant
SILENCE
Receptionist: (obviously holding back a laugh) So....... two positive tests aren't enough for you!??!
Me: (laughingly) Give me a break, I'm very EMOTIONAL right now!!!!!

She set the appointment for 10am (it was about 8:45am by this time) and I spent the next hour in a blur.. I know I got dressed and ate breakfast, and probably put a message like "OMG I think I got my BFP!" (big fat positive) up on my favourite TTC message forum... but I was just somewhere in the clouds the whole time. I know Dave was excited too, but I think he needed to hear it from the Dr to be sure...

So we went to the Dr... he checked a few things, did his own urine test (positive!) and took blood for a full work up. He said that it definitely looked like we were expecting, and congrats!!! He would phone through the lab results from the blood test on Monday but that was enough for me!

On Monday ... the results came through, and my levels were great and actually high enough that he wondered if maybe I was further along than we thought or even having twins (yikes!). As it turned out, neither was true, I was just very healthily pregnant with a nice, sticky little bubba... but the high levels explained the REALLY strong positives I got on the home tests!

So needless to say - I had a much quieter night that night! Sorry for such a long post but it was MUCH better to get it all out in one go. I will write more later about how we told parents etc... and what happened in more detail between that time, and the 18 week mark when I started this blog. Lots more to share!

But that's all for now................................. thanks for reading!

~* Tracey *~